2007 Comic Strips - Page 36
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Character
Friday December 14,
2007
Tags theoretically impossible, looped back, mobs strip, to- do list, had a pencil
Transcript
Wally: "It was theoretically impossible to work this week." "Everything I needed to do required me to do something else first, until it all looped back on itself like a Mobius strip." The boss: "Maybe you could make a to-do list." Wally: "As if I had a pencil."
Saturday December 15,
2007
Tags meeting, dont know, creating illusion, work, conflating, concepts, attendence, prodcutivity, business
Transcript
Tina: I don't know you. Why are you in this meeting? Wally: "I'm creating the illusion of work by conflating the concepts of attendance and productivity." "You should leave." Wally: "And who should I say hates teamwork?"
Monday December 17,
2007
Tags dead horse, interview, offcie, meeting, chair, not answering, few hours, secretary, cancel other meetinsg, take time, business
Transcript
The Boss: "You have good experience as a dead horse, but can you take a beating?" "So, you think you can ignore my questions, do you?" "Cancel all of my meetings, this could take a few more hours."
Tuesday December 18,
2007
Tags dead horse, meeting room, cahir, beating, good work, havnet beaten long enough, introduce
Transcript
The Boss: "I hired a dead horse, he doesn't look like much, but if you beat him long enough, he does good work." Dilbert: "Have you seen him do good work?" The Boss: "I haven't beaten him long enough." "Introduce yourself to the others!" Whap!
Wednesday December 19,
2007
Tags disciuss company politics, career monefield, project, new strategic direction, upcoming reorganization, plan to criticize, something good happens
Transcript
The Boss: "I'm not allowed to discuss the company politics that form a career minefield around your project." "And I can't tell you the company's new strategic direction, or anything about our upcoming reorg." The boss: "My plan is to criticize you until something good happens."
Thursday December 20,
2007
Tags order from boss, reptilian brain, not apparent, move cubicle, closer to department
Transcript
The boss: "Alice, I want you to move to a cubicle closer to the rest of the department." Alice: "Is there a reason that isn't apparent, or is this coming from the reptilian part of your brain?" The boss: "How would you know?" Alice: "That's a surprisingly good point."
Friday December 21,
2007
Tags staff meeting, take an hour, skip meeting, agree to die, earlier, deadness, haunt boss, agreement
Transcript
Wally: "Your staff meeting will take an hour of my life that I will never get back." "If you let me skip the meeting, I will agree, to die an hour earlier to make up the difference." Dilbert: "He agreed?" Wally: "Yes, and I'm going to use that extra hour of deadness to haunt hum."
Saturday December 22,
2007
Tags enhance strategy, next adjacency, no way to verify
Transcript
The Boss: "What have you done lately to enhance our strategy into the next adjacency?" Dilbert: "I don't know what that means, so I'm going to say 'everything.'" The Boss: "He's lucky there's no way to verify that claim."
Monday December 24,
2007
Tags presentation, useful parts, open to suggestions, unqualified, their own jobs, software, recycled paper, engineering
Transcript
Dilbert: "This concludes the useful part of my presentation." "Now let's open the floor to suggestions from people who are unqualified to do their own jobs, much less mine." "Yes, you with the forehead." Man: "Can you make the software out of recycled paper?"
Tuesday December 25,
2007
Tags firing, incompetent, another job, lack of training, new job, incompetence, normal
Transcript
The Boss: "Bruce, you're totally incompetent at your job, so I've moving you to another job." "I'm hoping your lack of training for your new job will make your incompetence seem normal." Half of this job is know when to give up."

