2020 Comic Strips - Page 36
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Character
Monday December 14,
2020
Reimagine Ted's Job
Tags boring, business, job, new, pay, projects, reimagine, technology, compensation
Transcript
boss: ted, we need to reimagine your job. ted: i hope that means you will replace the boring parts of my job with exciting new projects. boss: it doesn't mean that. boss: does it mean doing the same work for higher pay?
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Tuesday December 15,
2020
Ted Reimagined More
Tags managers & supervisors, business, employment, unnecessary, job, budget, sarcasm
Transcript
boss: when i say we need to reimagine your job, it means we no longer need anyone to do what you have been doing. ted: do you mind if i ask when you first realized that my job was totally unnecessary? boss: it was four years ago, but you seemed happy, and we had the budget to pay you, so...
Wednesday December 16,
2020
Ted And His Laptop
Tags managers & supervisors, employment, fired, laptop, technology
Transcript
boss: today is your last day with the company, ted. so i need your company laptop back. ted: or else what? you'll fire me twice? boss: let's say you're not officially fired until you return the laptop. ted: and if i don't bring it back, will i never be fired? boss: um...
Thursday December 17,
2020
Motivosity Bucks
Tags business, technology, working, weekend, employment, bucks, money, motivosity
Transcript
boss: thanks for working all weekend to get the project done, dilbert. i award you two motivosity bucks. dilbert: i like real money better. boss: that just cost you two motivosity bucks.
Friday December 18,
2020
Bad Attitude
Tags business, technology, work, exceptional, complain, attitude, bad, dislike, sarcasm
Transcript
boss: your work has been exceptional, but people are complaining about your attitude. dilbert: aren't the people who are doing the complaining usually the ones with bad attitudes. boss: they think you dislike them. dilbert: i do, but i have a terrific attitude about it.
Saturday December 19,
2020
Alice Is Honest
Tags business, managers & supervisors, technology, goals, quarter, unrealistic, honest
Transcript
boss: alice, you did not meet your goals this quarter. alice: that's because my goals are totally unrealistic and were created by a.moron. i hope you meant it when you said you want us to be honest with you. boss: i didn't expect you to act on it!
Monday December 21,
2020
Tweets Do Not Represent Employer
Tags business, employment, managers & supervisors, technology, tweet, tweets, object, smart, useful
Transcript
boss: i object to your twitter profile. it says... "my tweets are smart and useful, so obviously they do not represent my employer." Wally chocking on coffee: smorph! dilbert pointing: now see what you did to wally.
Tuesday December 22,
2020
Ethics Class
Tags business, managers & supervisors, technology, continuing education, class, ethics, organizations, competitive, industry, disadvantage, worry
Transcript
boss: you are all required to complete a class in ethics. dilbert: wouldn't that make us the only ethical organization in our industry and create a competitive disadvantage that leads to our demise? boss: stop your worrying. the class is required, but i'm not expecting any of it to stick.
Wednesday December 23,
2020
No Makeup On Zoom
Tags business, sarcasm, technology, zoom, call, voice only, makeup, hermit, fedex
Transcript
dilbert communicating with another person on cell phone. voice from phone: can we set up a zoom call later today? sound: tap tap tap i prefer a voice-only call because i'm not wearing makeup at home. how hideous do you look without makeup? i'm not sure, but fedex asked me to stop answering the door in person.
Thursday December 24,
2020
Wally Does Three Jobs
Tags business, money, fortune, employer, employment, working from home, job, manage, expectations, people
Transcript
wally and dilbert on video conference call. wally: i'm making a fortune working from home. three different employers think i work only for them. dilbert: how do you do three jobs at the same time: wally: it comes down to managing other people's expectations.


