Ceo Comic Strips - Page 36
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Character
627 Results for Ceo
View 351 - 360 results for CEO comic strips. Discover the best "Ceo" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday July 06,
2013
Tags work ethic, planned power outage, office, dedication, stupid
Transcript
Boss: There will be a planned power outage all day tomorrow. But I want all of you to come to the office and sit at your desks in case our CEO stops by. Dilbert: Because he likes it when we act stupid? Boss: It's better for everyone if we call it dedication.
Wednesday July 17,
2013
Friday July 19,
2013
Tags paying bills, trees, off site document, storage costs, out of control, core bsuiness, trees are jerks, money
Transcript
Boss: Our off-site document storage costs are growing out of control. At this rate, our core business can be summarized as "put trees in jail." This is when you say something wise and helpful. CEO: Trees are jerks.
Monday July 29,
2013
Tags baby, falls, game, management fast track, money, money bags, punch wessel, rescuing plastic baby, test, weasel, greed, failed test
Transcript
Catbert: Your first test on the management fast track involves rescuing a plastic baby and a bag of money from a weasel. You must punch the weasel then catch the money and the baby before they reach the ground. I found our next CEO. Wally: Wait...say this instructions again.
Tuesday July 30,
2013
Tags competition (psychology), elevators, fear, elevator, confrontation, threat, ceo, underling, power tripping
Transcript
CEO: Here's the hotshot that everyone says will someday take my job. I'm going to mentor you so hard your intestines will end up in your skull. Wally: I just figured out why people use the stairs.
Thursday August 01,
2013
Tags apathy, managers & supervisors, no confidence, management, low score, cancel surveys, business
Transcript
Boss: According to the employee survey, 98% of you have no confidence in management. Rest assured, management will make sure we never again get such a low score. CEO: Cancel all future employee surveys.
Saturday August 03,
2013
Tags obliviousness, office buildings, work ethic, prodcutivity, cubicles, one clown car
Transcript
Boss: Productivity went down when we moved the engineers from private offices to cubicles. Productivity went down again when we tried to open the office plan. CEO: Have we tried putting all of them in one clown car? Boss: No, but I don't see why that wouldn't work.
Monday August 05,
2013
Tags executives, snobbishness, ceo visitis, questions, ceo, special treatment
Transcript
Boss: When our CEO visits, don't ask him any questions. He hates questions. And don't stare. He hates it when people look at him. Dilbert: May we breathe the air on his planet? Boss: Only the stuff he exhales.
Thursday August 08,
2013
Tags apathy, managers & supervisors, new strategy, engineers, middle manager, glue, binds, vague objectives, business
Transcript
Carol: What did our CEO have to say? Boss: He has a new strategy, but it seems vague. Carol: What will the engineers think about it? Boss: They don't care about this stuff. Carol: What exactly does a middle manager do? Boss: We're the glue that binds the apathy to the vague objectives.
Wednesday September 04,
2013
Tags competition (psychology), ignorance (knowledge), big tech firms, hiring people, prestigious degrees, hiring idiots, vacuum up, hiring accused murderers, bail
Transcript
Catbert: The big tech firms say they no longer care about hiring people who have prestigious degrees. Obviously, they're trying to sucker the rest of us into hiring idiots while they vacuum up the people from the top schools. CEO: We need to get on this. Catbert: We could say we get good results by hiring accused murderers who are out on bail.

