Job Interview Comic Strips - Page 36
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993 Results for Job Interview
View 351 - 360 results for job interview comic strips. Discover the best "Job Interview" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday January 17,
2004
Tags concierge, hotel, slave, do naything, oo much, donate kidney, kiss up, over trained, give pay
Transcript
Concierge: "Welcome to the Metrogarden hotel! How may I make your stay incredible?" "I would be delighted to iron your socks, examine you for suspicious moles or take a second job and give you my pay." Dilbert: "I think they over-trained you." "I'm shaved and preped to donate a kidney."
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Saturday February 07,
2004
Tags send threatening emails, train new guy, easily downsize later, boss threatens alice, job security, male, female, training, alices bad advice
Transcript
The Boss: "Alice, I want you to train Ned to do everything you do." "Don't worry that it will make you redundant more easily downsizeable." Alice: "I like to start each day by sending threatening e-mail to the board of directors."
Thursday February 12,
2004
Tags morons on parade, magazine, cover story, writer, interview
Transcript
Dogbert: I'm a writer for 'Morons on Parade' magazine. Do you mind if I ask you some questions? The Boss: okay...but only if you promise to not make me look bad. Dogbert: cover story!!! Woo-Hoo!!! The boss: Really?
Saturday February 21,
2004
Tags make ted quit, aggressive replacement, share resources, job unbearable, pants, in same pants
Transcript
The boss: I hate Ted. How can I make him quit? Catbert: "That's easy." "Hire an aggressive replacement for Ted who will share his resources and make his job unbearable." Ted: "These are my pants." "Are you still here?"
Wednesday March 03,
2004
Tags ytransferred, new job, secretary job eliminated, masive incompetence, resentment, anger, splitting mad, offers new job
Transcript
The Boss: "Carol, two things: First, I got transferred to a new job, and that means your job here is eliminated." Carol: "Why must I suffer for your massive incompetence? You worthless pile of stinking crud!" "And the second thing?" The boss: "I'll need a secretary at the new job."
Tuesday March 09,
2004
Tags enjoyable job, complaining spouse, enjoy being at work
Transcript
Dilbert: How can I make my job more enjoyable? Garbageman: Get a spouse who complains a lot and then have a few kids. Dilbert: Thats sound awful. Garbageman: you won't believe how much you enjoy being at work.
Thursday April 01,
2004
Tags doctor dogbert show, big woman, little man, tv show, freak show, man, hot dog bun, doll like husband, interview, tv camera
Transcript
Doctor Dogbert Show Dogbert: Today we'll meet a couple who have a common problem. Big woman: I make him sleep in a gigantic hot dog bun. Dogbert: Can I see it? Man: No... please big woman: And the problem is that he snores.
Monday April 05,
2004
Tags job application, increase workload, performance becomes average, excel
Transcript
Job Applicant "How do you reward your top performers?" "I keep increasing their work loads until their performances become average." "So, why would anyone try to excel?" "I use only the finest motivational posters."
Sunday April 25,
2004
Tags international pop star, downloaded cd, burned guitar, poor, made no money, manager stole
Transcript
"Your last job was international pop star?" "Right." "Hey, I recognize you! I bought your new CD." "No you didn't." "When I say bought I mean downloaded." "Exactly. I didn't sell one CD. Everyone downloaded it." "Weren't you already rich?" "My business manager stole everything." "You could perform live." "Too many musicians, not enough venues." "Now do you make music for the love of it?" "I burned my guitar for heat." "I bought your new CD." "No you didn't."
Tuesday May 04,
2004
Tags software faults, ship date, future development, coulumn, what to call stuff, figuring
Transcript
Dilbert: We still have too many software faults. We'll miss our ship date. The boss: "Move the list of faults to the 'future development' column and ship it." "90% of this job is figuring out what to call stuff."

