Managers Comic Strips - Page 36

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592 Results for Managers

View 351 - 360 results for managers comic strips. Discover the best "Managers" comics from Dilbert.com.

Boss Recommends Blockchain

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Boss Recommends Blockchain - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #business, #computer software, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #technology

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CEO: I don't understand why you are recommending blockchain for this application. Boss: My staff are the experts, but I can explain the basic idea. You see, using blockchain is like losing a necklace on the beach. Then a seagull finds the necklace and takes it back to it's nest. And we all like data security, don't we? CEO: It's almost as if you are proposing a plan you don't understand at any level. Boss: Well, yes, but keep in mind that you wouldn't understand it even if I could explain it. CEO: But you're sure someone on your staff understands it, right? Boss: Define "sure".

Solves Too Few Problems

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Solves Too Few Problems - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #technology, #proposal, #problems, #quitter

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boss: your proposed solution is dumb because it doesn't solve all of our problems. dilbert: there's no such thing as a solution that solves all our problems. maybe we should solve the ones we can solve? boss: you're coming off as a quitter

Lack Of Strategy

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Lack Of Strategy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #strategy, #business, #company, #employees, #nothing

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dilbert: once again, it seems you accomplished absolutely nothing this week wally: no on will tell me our company's strategy, so anything i did would be random flailing boss: a lack of strategy isn't keeping anyone else from working wally: but shouldn't it?

Performance Versus Pay

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Performance Versus Pay - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #angry, #big business, #employees, #irritation, #managers & supervisors, #money, #salary

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Boss: I can't give you a bonus this year because we paid too much to buy another company. Dilbert: Are you saying my efforts and my rewards are no longer linked? Boss: Noooo. I'm not saying anything like that. I'm just saying your compensation isn't influenced by your performance. Dilbert: That's the same thing! Boss: Teamwork means we all share the rewards and we all have to share the pain. Dilbert: Does that mean management won't be getting bonuses either? Boss: Now you've made it awkward.

Practice Makes Perfect

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Practice Makes Perfect - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #practice, #estimate, #errors, #business, #incorrect

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boss: how can i trust your estimate when you have been wrong every other time? wally: practice makes perfect boss: um... boss thinking: i just realized i don't know how anything works.

Slippery Slope

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Slippery Slope - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #slippery, #slope, #approval, #database, #cosmetic, #surgery, #insult

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dilbert: can i take this database class? boss: no, that's a slippery slope. if i approve that class, next you will demand i pay for cosmetic surgery. dilbert: do i look like i need it? boss: only in two places - your face and your body

Filled Bathtub To The Attic

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Filled Bathtub To The Attic - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #business, #bathtub, #home, #weekend, #water, #attic, #chimney

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boss: i forgot i was filling my bathtub and went away for the weekend. now my house is full of water all the way to the attic. i don't know what to do. wally: try putting a hose in the chimney and sucking.

Wally Has Skills

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Wally Has Skills - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #performance, #review, #robot, #design, #skills

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boss: wally, your performance is substandard. wally: give me a great performance review, or else i'll design a robot that will take your job. boss: you could do that? wally: i have the skills. i just don't like to use them.

Busy To Mentor

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Busy To Mentor - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #criticism, #managers & supervisors, #mentor, #busy

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boss: i'm sorry i've been too busy to mentor you lately. dilbert: were you mentoring me before? boss: kind of. i was criticizing you in my mind. dilbert: i think it made me a better person.

Best Employees

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Best Employees - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employees, #managers & supervisors, #best, #office workers, #industry, #attitude

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boss: we have the best employees in the entire industry. except for ted obviously. ted: wait...what? boss: and here comes the attitude.