Mans Face Comic Strips - Page 36

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367 Results for Mans Face

View 351 - 360 results for mans face comic strips. Discover the best "Mans Face" comics from Dilbert.com.

Asok Is Overpaid

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Asok Is Overpaid - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, business, project, technology, time, pay, argue, math, face mask, salary

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asok: i finished my project in half the projected time. boss: that means i'm paying you twice as much as you deserve. asok: i don't think it means that at all. boss: you look dumb arguing with math.

Building Codes

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Building Codes - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, business, lab, construction, building, codes, stringent, guarantee, rain, mayor, campaign, sarcasm, face mask, false, hope, phase

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boss: how's the new lab construction going? dilbert: i'm having some issues with the local building codes. they seem unnecessarily stringent. for example, we have to guarantee no rain touches the roof. boss: why? dilbert: no on knows. but if we donate to the mayor's campaign, the city will designate the roof a "horizontal wall." boss: and then we can begin construction? dilbert: no, that's just the beginnning of the false hope phrase.

People Enjoy Context

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People Enjoy Context  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, video conference, zoom, customer, self, human, sarcasm, face mask

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boss: when you schedule the zoom call with the customer, be sure to include me. dilbert: do you plan to use up all of our time talking about yourself? boss: people enjoy context. dilbert: it's as if you have never met a human.

Talk To The Experts

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Talk To The Experts - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags answer, bribe, experts, face mask, faster, managers & supervisors, Opinion, plan, technology

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boss: i can't approve your plan until i know what the experts say. dilbert: i can save us some time by talking to the people who bribe the experts. i'll get the same answer, but faster. boss yelling: ouch! the truth hurts! dilbert: take a deep breath. it will pass.

Safety Record

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Safety Record - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, safety, record, industry, best, face mask, untrue, lie, idiot

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boss: our safety record is the best in the industry! dilbert: that is both untrue and easy to debunk. why would you even tell such a lie? do you think we're idiots? boss: moving along...

Protesters Surround Building

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Protesters Surround Building - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags face mask, fire, lobby, managers & supervisors, office building, protest, protesters, sign, support, business

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dilbert and boss looking out office window. dilbert: protesters have surrounded our building. boss: don't worry. i put a supportive sign in the lobby so they'll know we are on their side. dilbert: update: our nine lower floors are on fire. boss: maybe i should have used a bigger sign.

Training Kicked In

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Training Kicked In  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags bathroom, boring, business, face mask, meeting, sarcasm, technology, training, coffee

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wally: that slide deck in yesterday's meeting was lethally boring. luckily, all of my training kicked in. dilbert: and that training taught you to...? wally: go to the bathroom and never return.

Hand Sanitizer

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Hand Sanitizer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags office workers, business, hand sanitizer, addicted, overuse, face mask, covid-19, pandemic

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dilbert: i'm getting addicted to hand sanitizer. it started with my hands, but over time, i extended it up to my forearms, then behind my ears, and it just kept going. dilbert: want a squirt? alice: i don't know where that thing has been.

First Astronaut

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First Astronaut - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags astronaut, business, coffee, division, face mask, honor, question, safety, space, technology, test, mars

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carol: our space division asked if you would accept the honor of being their first astronaut to mars. boss: i didn't know they had even tested it for safety yet. carol: he asked too many questions.

Nothing Is Totally Safe

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Nothing Is Totally Safe - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, health & safety, managers & supervisors, sarcasm, technology, test, reality, blame, face mask

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boss: have you tested everything to make sure it is 100% safe? dilbert: nothing is 100% safe. we don't live in that kind of reality. but i'll bet you want me to say it anyway. boss: it's more about the blame later.