Name Randomly Picked Comic Strips - Page 36

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

365 Results for Name Randomly Picked

View 351 - 360 results for name randomly picked comic strips. Discover the best "Name Randomly Picked" comics from Dilbert.com.

Dilbert Is No Longer His Name

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Is No Longer His Name - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #gender, #managers & supervisors, #men and women, #office workers, #respect, #salary

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: My name used to be Dilbert, but my boss ordered me to identify as a woman. That way he can claim he pays men and women the same. Woman: I just lost all respect for your company. Dilbert: That was going to happen either way.

Dilbert Characters

Centralizing The Decentralized

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Centralizing The Decentralized - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #business, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #sarcasm, #value

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I need to randomly change something so it seems as if being a manager is a real job. Maybe I should centralize all the functions I decentralized last year. Catbert: Or you could find a way to add value. Boss: I'm not magic.

Head Banging Outcome

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Head Banging Outcome - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employees, #frustration, #office workers

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: What happened to your head? Dilbert: I've been banging it against a wall to reduce my frustration with my co-workers. Wally: Is it working? Dilbert: I think so because I don't remember your name.

Ron Moore

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ron Moore - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #employees, #insults, #jokes, #mistake, #sales, #customers

View Transcript

Transcript

Ron: Hi, I'm Ron Moore. Dilbert: Heh-heh. That's funny, because if you say your last name first, you're a "Moore, Ron". Okay, now I get why you never take me on sales calls.

Brain Fog

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Brain Fog - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #co-workers, #business, #health, #meds, #i.q., #handsome, #name

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: i have brain fog from the meds i took last night. my i.q. is down by 50%, but i make up for it by being handsome. alice: sounds more like a 75% situation. dilbert: now, can someone remind me of my name?

Credible Data

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Credible Data - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #sarcasm, #technology, #credible, #data, #problem, #test, #good

View Transcript

Transcript

alice: i finished the data throughput tests, but the results are not credible because of a problem with the test. boss: does the non-credible data make us look good? alice: yes. boss: our name for that kind of data is "credible."

No Raise In Years

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
No Raise In Years - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #job, #raise, #nine, #years, #face mask, #employment

View Transcript

Transcript

office worker: i've been working here for nine years, and you haven't given me a single raise! boss: i didn't even know you worked for me. obviously, you didn't do anything useful, or i would have noticed. office worker: well, in that case, i'm glad i didn't give my name.

Gaslighting The Boss

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Gaslighting The Boss - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #month, #november, #october, #birthday, #family relations, #wife, #gaslight

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: what's the name of the month that comes after october? dilbert: november boss: that's what i thought. my wife is trying to gaslight me so she doesn't have to buy me a birthday present. dilbert: how long has she been doing that? boss: i thought i was 26 years old until just now.

Augmented Reality

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Augmented Reality - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #office workers, #business, #introduction, #reality, #glasses, #social media, #history, #impressions, #dumb, #face mask

View Transcript

Transcript

girl: my name is ... dilbert: stop right there. my augmented reality glasses are showing me your entire social media history. girl: i hope it makes a good first impression. dilbert yelling: my god, you are dumb!

Karma Is Real

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Karma Is Real - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employment, #managers & supervisors, #business, #team, #karma, #name, #new, #team member, #hide, #face mask

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: do you think karma is real? wally: nah. boss: i'd like you to meet the newest member of our team. his name is karma. dilbert: if you need me, i'll be hiding. karma: i hear one of you has been bad.