Printer Paper Comic Strips - Page 36

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

375 Results for Printer Paper

View 351 - 360 results for printer paper comic strips. Discover the best "Printer Paper" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #gadgets, #pizza, #mens room, #ipad, #newspaper, #pizza delivery, #Entertainment

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: Have you seen Wally? Dilbert: He's been in the men's room for two days. He used to leave when he was done reading the paper, but he switched to an iPad and now he doesn't know when he's finished. Alice: He has to come out to eat. Pizza Guy: I have a pizza for the third stall.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #color printer, #frobid, #frustration, #information services, #office equipment, #office workers, #removed, #rough drafts, #crazy co worker

View Transcript

Transcript

Mordac: I am Mordac, the preventer of information services, and I forbid you from using the shared color printer for rough drafts! Dilbert: That sounds reasonable, which makes me wonder what you're up to. Two Months Later Why did you remove the color printer? Mordac: It was hardly ever used.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #interviews, #lying, #job interview, #exaggerate credntials, #more effective, #business skill, #misleading, #convince customers, #prodcuts, #dupe some idiot, #learn tech skills, #honesty, #hr, #send offer, #liar

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: You look good on paper, but how do I know you aren't lying about your skills? Interviewee: You should hope I am lying. Studies show that people who exaggerate their credentials tend to be more effective once hired. That's because misleading people is a valuable business skill. For example, I might need to convince our customers that our products are better than the competition. Or I might need to dupe some idiot into leaving my cubicle so I can concentrate. Anyone can learn technical skills, but lying is an art form. Dilbert: He doesn't have an honest bone in his body. Boss: Perfect. I'll tell Human Resources to send him an offer.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #obliviousness, #time management, #touch, #touching, #touching paper, #turn off phone, #ignore email, #one touch, #salad tongs, #on etouch, #interupted

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: The key to good time management is touching each piece of paper once. If I can only touch it once, I'd better do it right. I'll need to make sure I don't get interrupted after the first touch.Turn off my phone, close my door, and ignore email. Okay, here goes one touch. Ugh. This will take an hour and I only have ten minutes. Make a copy, throw away the original, and don't let me touch the copy until I have an hour in my schedule. I wonder if I'm allowed to use salad tongs.

Brain Scan And 3 D Scanner

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Brain Scan And 3 D Scanner - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #replication, #technology, #clone, #playing god, #doppelganger

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: My invention can scan the human brain and duplicate it in software. I combined that technology with a 3-D printer that makes human body parts. Boss: What does it all do? Replicant: He's getting to the good part.

Bossbert

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Bossbert - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #intelligence, #artificial intelligence, #robot, #replicant

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I used a 3-D printer and a scan of your brain to create Bossbot. It doesn't pass the Turing test, but neither do you. Bossbot: What's the Turing test? Dilbert: Doesn't really matter. Boss: Yeah, what's the Turing test?

Computers Program Humans

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Computers Program Humans - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #robots, #program, #intelligence, #control, #medication, #medicine, #pill, #technology, #power

View Transcript

Transcript

Robot: It is time to take your mood-altering prescription meds. Boss: Oh, right. Robot: Wait... IBM's Watson computer has added another prescription and sent it to your 3-D pill printer at home. Do you think robots will ever program humans? Boss: That's dumb.

Robot Dispenses Meds

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Robot Dispenses Meds - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #technology, #medicine, #pill, #anxiety, #deception, #control, #manipulation

View Transcript

Transcript

Robot: My biosensors detect an onset of social anxiety. My internal 3-D printer is making the meds to fix you. I am ready to dispense. Please lie on the ground with your mouth open. Dilbert: This feels like a bad precedent.

Wally Engineers Something

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Engineers Something - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #genius, #brilliant, #idea, #thinking, #printer, #technology, #invention, #medicine, #deception, #motivation, #innovation, #laziness

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Did you design our robot's 3-D pill printer? Wally: Yup. Dilbert: The design is brilliant, except for the part where the pill drops out of the robot's butt. Why are you suddenly brilliant? Wally: Never had a reason before.

The Dogbertium Particle

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
The Dogbertium Particle - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #science, #accusation, #questioning, #discovery, #accusing

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: I wrote a paper about my discovery of the "Dogbertium Particle" and submitted it for peer review. Luckily, most of my peers are made of pure Dogbertium, which means they are easy to bribe. Dilbert: Bribe? Dogbert: Do you have a problem with that, or are you anti-science?