Sales Department Comic Strips - Page 36

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413 Results for Sales Department

View 351 - 360 results for sales department comic strips. Discover the best "Sales Department" comics from Dilbert.com.

The Generic Graph

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The Generic Graph - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #money, #cost, #saving, #chart, #graph, #penny pinching, #thrift, #frugality

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Boss: The sales estimate looks like this. Alice: That looks like a chart you showed us yesterday about our travel budget. Boss: The company is standardizing on this one chart.

Dilbert Can Tweak The Software

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Dilbert Can Tweak The Software - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sales, #sales personnel, #demands, #rules, #promise, #restrictions, #obliviousness, #business

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The Sales Call. Salesman: If you need any tweaks to the software, Dilbert can do that in minutes. Dilbert: I'm not allowed to tweak the software for one customer. Salesman: He'll do it anyway. Dilbert: I'm going to report you.

I Would Never Ask You To Lie

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I Would Never Ask You To Lie - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sales personnel, #lying, #sales, #ethics, #business

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Boss: Stop being honest when you go on sales calls. Dilbert: You want me to lie? Boss: I would never ask you to lie. I'm asking you to nod your head and smile while our salesperson lies.

Nod At Preset Intervals

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Nod At Preset Intervals - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #lying, #lie, #collusion, #nonverbal communication, #honest, #sales, #sales personnel, #ethics, #business

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Boss: You don't have to lie to customers, but at least nod your head when our salesperson lies. Dilbert: Can I not at preset intervals and let the salesperson time the lies to my nods? Salesman: I can work with that.

Dilbert Times His Nods

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Dilbert Times His Nods - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #honesty, #candor, #lying, #deception, #sales, #sales personnel, #ethics, #business

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Client: Why does your engineer keep nodding? Dilbert: I don't like to lie, so I just nod while he times his lies to my nods. You were totally right about them hating candor.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sales personnel, #salesman, #sales, #honesty, #deception, #stragegy, #sociopath, #lying, #lie, #business

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Man: I need you to join me on a sales call to tell my customer how easy it will be to switch to our software. Dilbert: It isn't easy. Man: This is a sales call. All you need to do is say everything will be easy. Dilbert: What happens when they find out it isn't easy? Man: They won't find out until after they pay us. Dilbert: What will you do when they complain? Man: I'll tell your boss you misled them. Dilbert: Not if I warn him first! Man: Too late. I already told him you're a liar.

Asok Is The Only Good Negotiator

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Asok Is The Only Good Negotiator - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #accuse, #eric scott, #haggle, #lable, #money, #negotiating, #negotiation, #racism, #racist, #raise, #guest artist

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Asok: Did you both negotiate huge raises with our boss the way I did? Dilbert and Wally: No. Dilbert: Apparently, you're the only good negotiator in the department. Asok: Are you being racist? Dilbert: I will give you $1,000 to never say that about me again.

Asok Meets His Equal

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Asok Meets His Equal - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #accuse, #label, #racist, #sexist, #negotiation, #clever, #outsmart, #money, #salary

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Asok: I love being the best negotiator in the entire department. Alice: You're not. Asok: Are you being racist? Alice: Are you being sexist? Asok: I have met my equal. Alice: Tell your equal I said hi when you pull your head out of it.

Company Policy About Dating

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Company Policy About Dating - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dating, #relationships, #office romance, #policy, #legal issues, #human resources, #business

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Catbert: Rumor has it that you are dating a co-worker named Loud Howard. Company policy requires you to register your lustful feelings with our legal department. Lawyer: Okay, I think we have you covered, but the stapling phase will sting a little.

Twitter The Video Game

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Twitter The Video Game - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #twitter, #social media, #game, #ignorance, #trick, #prank, #technology

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Dilbert: Our sales dropped to zero after you offended customers on Twitter. Did someone tell you Twitter was a video game? Narrator: One week ago. Boss: And how would I kill these trolls? Wally: With your words.