2003 Comic Strips - Page 36
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Character
Wednesday December 17,
2003
Tags obliterate connection, my perfromance, my rewards, 3d objects
Transcript
The merger will obliterate the connection between my performance and rewards. My arms hang like wet ropes. there is no reason to move again. Dilbert: From 9 - 930 I rotated 3 dimensional objects in my mind. My ears hang like wet ropes.
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Thursday December 18,
2003
Tags worry, paranoid beaver, productivity rewarded, alice, merger, boss
Transcript
Alice : My strategy is to work like a paranoid beaver during the merger. Surely my productivity will be noticed and rewarded when the downsizing begins, Man: and who is alice? The Boss: Im pretty sure thats the bald guy with glasses.
Friday December 19,
2003
Tags made up language, inventing language, downsized, no word
Transcript
Boss: "Alice, I don't know the best way to say this but I'll try." "Oog - nah wahgoo yagga bliphnow elga nooey fip wah!" "That's a language I'm inventing in my spare time. It has no word for 'you're downsized.'"
Saturday December 20,
2003
Tags human resources, evil director, severance package, spittle, laugh, purr, bad package, business
Transcript
Catbert: Evil director of Human Resources. "What kind of severance package do I get?" "I can't decide if I should laugh or purr, but there's definitely spittle in your future." "This is a bad package." "PURRRR-HA-HA HA-PURRRRR-HA HA-PURRRR!!!"
Sunday December 21,
2003
Tags gaga gift money, upcoming birthdays, baby showers, retirements promotions, collecting money, bag of moeny, flush, toilet involved, more effcient, sectional sofa
Transcript
Carol: "I'm collecting money for miscellaneous gag gifts." "We've got upcoming birthdays, baby showers, retirements, promotions, blah, blah, blah." "I'm collecting all of the gag gift money in advance." "Then I'll take the bag of money and flush it down the toilet." "That will be the gag. It's funny because a toilet is involved." "So you can either give me $100 now or I'll be back twenty times at $5 a pop." "You can't resist the siren call of a more efficient process. Give it up, engineer-boy!" "Hello, sectional sofa!"
Monday December 22,
2003
Tags career counseling, mad about downsized, involves punching, kicking, resume, alice, seeking job
Transcript
Career Counseling. Dogbert: "Apparently you're still mad about being downsized." "According to your resume, you're seeking a job that involves 'punching a short, stocky guy with pointy hair.'" "Is that the only job you'd consider?" Alice: "I also like kicking."
Tuesday December 23,
2003
Tags alice, rich guy, care about personality, hugged too tight
Transcript
Alice gets downsized. Wally: "Maybe your next career could be marrying a rich guy." "There must be a guy out there who wouldn't care about your personality." "If she offers you a goodbye hug, don't take it."
Wednesday December 24,
2003
Tags downsized, gag gifts, goodby lunch, not retired, tuesday, party, gifts, mean soirited, office party
Transcript
CaroL; "I scheduled your goodbye lunch for Tuesday." Alice: "I can't make it on Tuesday." Carol: "It's too late to change it. Everyone already bought your gag gifts." Alice: "Gag gifts?? I'm not retiring; I got downsized!" Asok: "Congratulations, Alice! Hee-hee!!"
Thursday December 25,
2003
Tags alice, downsized, now ork, no shave legs, arrested, ice cream, sasquatch, tv news report
Transcript
Alice: "The good thing about being downsized is that I don't need to shave my legs." "It grows fast, but who's going to notice?" TV REPORTER: "Police surrounded a convenience store where Sasquatch attempted to buy 'Haagen Dazs.'"
Friday December 26,
2003
Tags rehired, alice back, dulled instincts, first day abck, business picking up
Transcript
The Boss: Business is picking up. We need to rehire some of the people that we downsized. I hope the time off from work hasn't dulled their engineering instincts. The first day back is always the hardest.

