Business People Comic Strips - Page 36
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1000 Results for Business People
View 351 - 360 results for business people comic strips. Discover the best "Business People" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday May 24,
2020
Stopping Theft Everywhere
Tags office workers, business, technology, system, reduce, theft, dumb, product
Transcript
dilbert: and by using this system, we will drastically reduce theft. co-worker: that's the dumbest think i have ever heard. no one can stop theft everywhere in the world. dilbert: i said we would reduce it, not eliminate it. and only for our own products. co-worker: so, in other words, it won't work. dilbert: it works to reduce theft. co-worker: but you admit there will be theft. dilbert standing and yelling: what is wrong with you???? co-worker: hey, i'm not the one who is in favor of theft.
Wednesday May 20,
2020
High Fives
Tags boss, hygiene, life, office workers, virus, pandemic, social distancing
Transcript
Boss: To avoid spreading viruses, there will be no shaking hands in the workplace. That custom has been replaced by uncomfortable body language and awkward banter about not shaking hands. Dilbert: Are high-fives still okay? Boss: Yes, we don't care if those people live or die.
Sunday May 17,
2020
Asok Meditates
Tags coffee, psychology, sarcasm, business, meditation, think, work, co-worker, technology, enlightenment
Transcript
asok: have you ever tried meditating? wally: sounds like a lot of work. asok: it is the opposite of work. all you have to do is sit in one place and think of nothing in particular. wally: can i drink coffee at the same time. asok: that is not recommended. wally: in other words, meditating is what i already do, but without the advantage of coffee? asok: perhaps you have already achieved enlightenment. wally: feels that way to me.
Saturday May 16,
2020
Dilbert Has To Upgrade Server
Tags coronavirus, business, technology, network, upgrade, server, boss, latency, locks, garage, sleep, face mask, work from home
Transcript
dilbert wearing face mask and carrying computer bag: i'm going into the office to upgrade a server. according to my boss, reducing network latency is more important than my life. can i depend on you to not change the locks while i'm gone? dogbert: only if you sleep in the garage.
Friday May 15,
2020
No Interruptions At Home
Tags technology, business, working, home, workday, productivity, anger, annoying, bowel, problems
Transcript
dilbert sitting on couch with dogbert: i like working from home. i can do eight hours of work in one hour because no one is interrupting me. dogbert yelling: i'm trying to work here! dilbert: did i tell you about my bowel problems? dogbert: go away!
Thursday May 14,
2020
Placebo Effect New
Tags business, consultant, science, explain, ancecdotal, evidence, misleading, placebo, effect
Transcript
dilbert: why do you keep explaining to me how science works when you know i already know? sciencesplainer: did you know anecdotal evidence can be misleading? dilbert yelling: yes!!! i knew that!!! sciencesplainer: have you ever heard of the placebo effect? dilbert: GAAAA!!!
Wednesday May 13,
2020
Sciencesplainer Explains Science New
Tags business, sciencesplainer, data, report, anecdotal, controlled, study, accurate, face mask
Transcript
the sciencesplainer dilbert wearing face mask: we don't have any data yet, but we are hearing good reports. sciencesplainer: those reports are anecdotal. you need a controlled study to be certain. dilbert distressed: literally everyone already knows that. sciencesplainer: sure. but did you know accurate data are better than bad data?
Tuesday May 12,
2020
Sciencesplainer New
Tags sarcasm, business, sciencesplainer, meetings, interrupt, condescending, science
Transcript
boss in meeting wearing face mask: i hired a sciencesplainer for our meetings. he'll interrupt us every ten minutes to explain, in a condescending way, how science works. dilbert wearing face mask: why do we need that? boss: it's just something we do.
Monday May 11,
2020
Point At End Of Slide Deck
Tags business, coronavirus, slide, deck, Opinion, point, sarcasm, face mask
Transcript
co-worker in face mask: what do you think of my slide deck? dilbert in face mask: i reviewed all 26 of your slides, and i can't figure out what your point is. co-worker: i could put the point on slide 27. dilbert: or just give up.
Sunday May 10,
2020
Dogbert Teaches Asok Tech Support
Tags business, technology, train, tech support, problem, reboot, computer, problem solving, genius
Transcript
boss: dogbert, i need you to train asok to fill in for you on tech support. dogbert to asok: the goal of tech support is to convince the caller the problem is on their end. i do this by recommending increasingly difficult things for them to try. eventually they give up, watch and learn. dogbert on call: uh-huh... uh-huh... try rebooting your computer. now try it again while holding control -escape-space bar- delete for exactly 27.3 seconds. no luck? try looking at your computer's binary code to find any zeros and ones that are out of order. click dogbert: and he's gone. asok: genius!

