Office Buildings Comic Strips - Page 36

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View 351 - 360 results for office buildings comic strips. Discover the best "Office Buildings" comics from Dilbert.com.

Tweaking Variables

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Tweaking Variables - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, office, office workers, strategy, stupidity

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Dilbert: I can't get my five-year projections to match what you told the board. Boss: Try tweaking the variables until they do. Dilbert: That would make me a liar. Boss: Nah. In five years it will look like ordinary stupidity.

Best Product

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Best Product - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags criticism, jokes, meetings, office, office workers, sarcasm, presentation

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Ted: As you can see from this chart, our product has been rated number one for six years in a row. Dilbert: Why does your chart stop four years ago? Ted: I'll bet you don't get invited to a lot of parties. Dilbert: That's just a lucky guess.

New Forms

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New Forms - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, money, office, office workers, efficiency

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Dilbert: Did you approve my budget request? Boss: No, you used the old form. Dilbert: Do we have new forms? Boss: In hindsight, we should have funded the creation of new budget request forms before we made the old ones obsolete.

Documents On Chairs

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Documents On Chairs  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags frustrated, office, office workers, paper

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Dilbert: Gaaa!!! I hate it when people leave documents on my chair! I will have my revenge by sticking this at the bottom of my biggest pile. Winning.

No Recognisiton

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No Recognisiton - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags addiction, office workers, social media, video games, expectations

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Man: Video games and social media have made me addicted to artificial success. But here in the real world, I do not receive the recognition I so crave. Dilbert: That's because all you do is play video games and use social media. Man: See? I'm getting nothing.

Very Smart Phd

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Very Smart Phd - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags education, intelligence, office workers, sarcasm

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Man: Hi. I'm very smart, but I don't know how to do anything. Dilbert: Where did you get your PH.D.? Man: I didn't say I have a PH.D. Dilbert: You kinda did.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags annoyance, insults, office, office workers, people, sarcasm, introvert, coworkers

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Tina: Sometimes it seems as if you don't like me. Dilbert: Don't be ridiculous. I'm just an introvert. Being around people drains my energy. I only avoid you because spending five minutes with you feels like being buried alive. With fleas instead of dirt. Tina: So...it isn't personal? Dilbert: I need a nap.

Why Didn't You Do It Sooner

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Why Didn't You Do It Sooner - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags criticism, managers & supervisors, motivation, office workers, problem

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Dilbert: I solved our server reliability problem. Boss: Why didn't you do it sooner? Dilbert: If you see my motivation anywhere, tell it I miss it.

Did Not Know About The Server

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Did Not Know About The Server - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags employees, excuses, irritation, managers & supervisors, office workers

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Boss: It's been six months now and you still haven't fixed our server issue. Dilbert: I didn't know we had a server issue. Boss: That's no excuse. Dilbert: Actually, it's kind of a good excuse. Boss: Now you're making excuses for your excuses!

Sarcasm Empty Vessel

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Sarcasm Empty Vessel - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags jokes, office workers, sarcasm, millennial, smartphone

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Man: Wow, that's a great idea. Let's just do that! LOL! Dilbert: I've noticed that you are nothing but an empty vessel for transporting sarcasm. Man: Oooh! I'm such an empty vessel! LOL! Dilbert: I don't know what to do with all of this.