Sit Down Comic Strips - Page 36

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View 351 - 360 results for sit down comic strips. Discover the best "Sit Down" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags replaced computers, training class, ignored requests, sit unused, slow way, computer manual, no time, class, coat, invest, plan future

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Girl: So they replaced our computers and never trained us. I told them we needed a training class but they ignored my requests. So our computers sit there unused while we do our work the slow way. Dilbert: why don't you real the computer manual? Girl: I don't have time for that! Dilbert: But you have time for a class? It doesn't add up. Girl: Im cold. Dilbert: You should try wearing a coat. they're terrific.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags video cameras installed, id badges, internet, phone use monitored, drug testing, hot irons, brand awareness, branding, employees, business, technology

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Catbert the Evil HR Director says to the staff, "Video cameras have been installed in all work areas." Catbert holds up a badge and says, "Employees must wear I.D. badges around their neck." Catbert continues, "Your internet and telephone usage will be monitored." Catbert continues, "Everyone will undergo mandatory drug testing." Catbert thinks to himself, "They're not resisting. They're ready for phase two." Catbert says, "Prepare to be permanently marked by hot ironos." The Boss asks Catbert, "Will that hurt?" Catbert answers, "I'll be fine. Thanks for asking." Everyone holds Wally down on the table as Catbert announces, "Wally is about to experience brand awareness."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags booby trap cucbilce, borrow guest chair, in slices cubicle, dilbert snagged, upside down, hanging, rope, innocent, trapped

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Alice returns to her cubicle to find Dilbert hanging upside-down in the trap she set. Dilbert asks Alice, "Alice, did you booby-trap your cubicle?" Alice answers, "The question is, why are you in my cubicle?" Dilbert replies, "What if I promise to never again borrow your guest chair?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags upgarding, sales support, unlock lexus, guy down hall, owns lexus

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Dilbert says to Ed, "I finished upgrading the sales support network." Ed responds angrily, "Is that why I can't unlock my Lexus?!!" Dilbert replies, "You don't own a Lexus. You only look like a guy down the hall who owns one." Ed answers, "I hate that guy."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags global communications, de orbiting satellites, swimming pools, deadly flame balls, speeding toward earth

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Pointing to a picture the Boss says, "We'll be shutting down our global comunications business and de-orbiting our satellites." Dilbert raises his hand and says to the Boss, "Question: Wouldn't that create dozens of deadly flame balls speeding toward earth?" The Boss replies, "That's why we're aiming for cities that have lots of swimming pools."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags worst date ever, whats on ground, bends over, check out ass, not so good

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Ming and Dilbert are walking together as Ming talks on her cell phone. "Yeah, I'm having the worst date ever. I'll check." Ming asks Dilbert, "What's that on the ground? It looks interesting?" Dilbert bends down tolook. Ming begins talking on her cell phone again. "Not so good."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags chatter non stop, every woman, no male traits, galk

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Ming says to Dilbert as they sit together at a table, "Do you mind if I chatter nonstop about people you don't know?" Dilbert answers, "No." Dilbert then asks Ming, "Do you mind if I gawk at every woman who walks by?" Ming answers, "Yes." Ming says to Dilbert, "In fact, I would appreciate it if you displayed no male traits whatsoever." Dilbert responds, "Can do."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags lose weight, write down meals, patented weight loss pencil

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Dogbert says to his client, "You can lose weight if you write down all of your meals in a journal." The man asks Dogbert, "That's all I need to do?" And Dogbert replies, "Yes, if you use our patented weight-loss pencil." The man leaves Dogbert carrying a gigantic pencil over his shoulder.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags generic self help, consultant, keep a journal, lead by example, business

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Dogbert says to Dilbert as they sit together at the kitchen table, "I've decided to become a generic self-help consultant." Dogbert continues, "I'll tell people to keep a journal of all their thoughts. Then I'll bill them." Dilbert asks Dogbert, "How would that help anyone?" Dogbert replies, "I lead by example, my friend."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags cep, obscenely wealthy, guest house, build house, speech writer, workers, made him rich, bragging, condescending, truth

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Ed stands at the podium and says, "As CEO, I thank you for making me obscenely wealthy." Alice, Wally and Dilbert continue to sit and listen. Ed goes on to say, "Yesterday, I built a guest house using bundles of cash as bricks." Ed looks down at his paper, thinking "I need a new speech writer."