2007 Comic Strips - Page 36
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Character
Monday January 15,
2007
Tags freely singing, glanced at, ratbert, singing
Transcript
Ratbert: TRA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA!!! "Why do I need a reason?"
Sunday January 14,
2007
Tags actual meeting, day after meeting, pre meeting, thursday, evil, underpaid
Transcript
Did you set up my pre-meeting for Wednesday? "Yes. It's on Thursday." "You scheduled my pre-meeting for the day after the meeting?" "That was the only day that everyone could make it." "There's no point in having a pre-meeting after the actual meeting." "Sure there is. You can talk about how much better the meeting would have been if you had been prepared." "Here comes the pointy-haired boss. You'd better scurry away before he gives you more work." "There's a fine line between evil and underpaid."
Saturday January 13,
2007
Tags product with netork, run cable through shoebox, twigs and leaves, cat 5, cat 6
Transcript
Sales Engineer I've successfully integrated our product with your network." "It might look as if all I did was run a Cat5 cable through a shoebox full of twigs and leaves." "Is that all you did?" "A Cat6 cable would be overkill."
Friday January 12,
2007
Tags engineer, magic vendors fault, network, shoebox, twigs and leaves, engineering
Transcript
Client: Your network product appears to be a shoe box full of twigs and leaves. Sales engineer: Hoho! Just wist util my engineer does his magic and integrates it with your network! Make it look like another vendor's fault.
Thursday January 11,
2007
Tags sales engineer, making sale, install, few extra features, massage table, sprawl, get naked
Transcript
Sales Engineer Sales engineer: I did the hard part of making the sale. All you have to do is install it. I might have promised them a few extra features. Did you bring your own massage table or should I just get naked and sprawl on a desk?
Wednesday January 10,
2007
Tags cold learning, cruelest, don't wear a coat, first lesson, good liar, sales support engineer, seeking advice, how to lie
Transcript
Dilbert: I'm a sales support engineer now. Can you teach me to be a good liar? Dogbert: Sure. Meet me on the porch, and don't wear a coat; the cold will help the learning. The first lesson is always the cruelest."
Tuesday January 09,
2007
Tags heals itself, sales engineer, sales rep, totally true, truth vs.lies, questions
Transcript
Sales Engineer "Your sales rep told us that the product heals itself. Is that true?" Dilbert: It's totally true...that he said that. sales engineer: Let me ask this another way... Dilbert: NOOO!!! One way per question!"
Monday January 08,
2007
Tags Advice, avoid facts, cubicle, paid commissions, sales engineer, truth, sales rep
Transcript
The Boss: I'm making you a sales engineer. You'll be paid on commission." "When our sales reps lie, it will be your job to make it look like the truth." "Try to avoid facts."
Sunday January 07,
2007
Tags made up words, good laugh, words, incentement, robustify, flexitate, leadershipping, underboard, moralify
Transcript
The Boss: Tina, I need you to edit this before I send it out. Sure. I could use a good laugh. Let's start with the words that aren't words." Incentiment...robustify...flexitate...and leadershipping." "I'll take those out and see what's left." "'If you're not onboard with quality excellence, you're underboard.'" "WA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!!" "Why do I even bother trying to moralify these people."
Saturday January 06,
2007
Tags diet guru, fewer groceries, last meal, motivation, murder, stop eating, threaten
Transcript
Dogbert: Diet Guru Dogcart: Try stuffing fewer groceries down your maw." "I was hoping you'd give me motivation. Stop eating or I'll kill you. The Boss: Would I get a last meal?"


