2008 Comic Strips - Page 36
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Character
Wednesday January 16,
2008
Tags project, stink of unimportnace, interns, board of directors, insult
Transcript
Asok: I finished my project and I'm ready to present it to the board of directors. The Boss: Interns don't speak to the board of directors, Asok. It would be considered an insult. Asok: How is that an insult? The Boss: You have the stink of unimportance.
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Tuesday January 15,
2008
Tags corner, cubilce, door, fantasy, nutrients, office, replacement, giant mushroom
Transcript
The Boss: Now that you're out of the loop, your new cubicle will be a giant mushroom. It's a pleasant environment except when the mushroom gets its nutrients. wally: Nutrients?
Monday January 14,
2008
Tags everyone informed, out of loop, witnessing birth, birth of child, envy, project, happy, miracle
Transcript
The Boss: It's too hard to keep everyone informed about everything. I've decided to take you out of the loop. Wally: Really?? Now I know what fathers mean when they talk about witnessing the birth of their children. Dilbert: Lucky!
Sunday January 13,
2008
Tags boss request, help coworker, own work, projects, projects suffer, time management
Transcript
The Boss: Dilbert, I need you to help Ted on his project. Dilbert: If Ted's project succeeds, who will get the credit? The Boss: Ted will. It's his project. Dilbert: What if it fails? The Boss: That would be your fault for not helping him enough. Dilbert: If I spend my time helping Ted, my own projects will suffer. The only way this makes sense is if my projects are unimportant and so am I. The Boss: If it makes you feel any better, Ted and his projects are unimportant too.
Saturday January 12,
2008
Tags goal, rewrite law, supply & demand, toss a purr
Transcript
Catbert: Evil director of human resources Asok: I need a goal. What can I do to get a raise? Catbert: Try rewriting the law of supply and demand. Asok: Harsh. Catbert: I have to toss a purr your way."
Friday January 11,
2008
Tags design, real world, uninformed criticisms, meeting, boss, business
Transcript
The Boss: This design will never work in the real world. Dilbert: That design is already widely used in the real world. I can come back later if you need time to concoct additional uninformed criticisms.
Thursday January 10,
2008
Tags aligns with priorities, budget, lying, priorities, questiong
Transcript
The Boss: Tina, put together a document showing how our budget aligns with out priorities. Tina: It doesn't. The Boss: Write it so it seems like it does. Tina: Isn't that lying? The Boss: I call it leadership by words.
Wednesday January 09,
2008
Tags company priorites, intern, meeting, over thinking, priorities, projects, co workers, business
Transcript
The Boss: And those are the company priorities for the coming year. Any questions? Asok: Should I be concerned that none of my projects relate to any of those priorities? Wally: You're over thinking again. Asok: Sorry.
Tuesday January 08,
2008
Tags employees, meeting, miss step, mole hired, reporting, chilling effect, business
Transcript
RAtBert: I'm the official department mole. I'll be reporting your every misstep to your pointy-haired boss. Dilbert: Won't this have a chilling effect on our creativity and honesty?" RatBert: That didn't take long.
Monday January 07,
2008
Tags mole hired, boss, sneak, mole as mole, people think, gas bag, bad press, bad thoughts, worthless, self important
Transcript
The Boss: What have you learned this week working as my employee mole? Mole: Some of the people in this building think you're a worthless, self-important gas bag. The Boss: What do other people think? Mole: They don't know you."


