2020 Comic Strips - Page 36

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Nodding Approval

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Nodding Approval - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags co-workers, nodding, positive, reinforcement, repeat, boring, relationships

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dilbert: you have now made the same point nine times in a row while i sit here nodding. what will it take to make you stop repeating yourself? co-worker: you'll need to stop nodding in agreement. i'm addicted to positive reinforcement.

Violating Rules

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Violating Rules - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, rules, business, audit, employees, company

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boss: our internal audit found that you violated over four hundred company rules in the past year. dilbert: i'm also the only employee who accomplished anything last year. now connect the dots. boss: so you're saying we need more rules.

Brain Fog

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Brain Fog - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags co-workers, business, health, meds, i.q., handsome, name

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dilbert: i have brain fog from the meds i took last night. my i.q. is down by 50%, but i make up for it by being handsome. alice: sounds more like a 75% situation. dilbert: now, can someone remind me of my name?

Smarter Than An Engineer

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Smarter Than An Engineer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, health, allergy, brain, fog, i.q., smart, engineer

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dilbert: i took allergy meds last night, and now i have brain fog. my i.q. is about 50% of normal capacity. boss: whoo-hoo! i'm smarter than an engineer! dilbert: not quite. i'm only down by 50%.

Appearing In Photos

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Appearing In Photos - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags co-workers, technology, social media, friends, Opinion, abhor, person, characteristics, jerk

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tina: i can't be your friend because i saw a disturbing photo of you on social media. you were in a group photo with a person whose opinions i abhor. dilbert: can you explain why that makes me a bad person? tina: sure. duh. when you appear in photos with other people, you acquire their bad characteristics. dilbert: i don't think that's how it works. tina: that's exactly how it works! one photo with a jerk makes you a jerk! case closed! dilbert taking selfie with Tina in background: smile. tina upset: no-ooo!!!

Old Strategy

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Old Strategy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, meeting, business, strategy, products, sell, fair, price, new

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boss in meeting: our new strategy is to make great products and sell them at a fair price. dilbert: what was our old strategy? boss: i'd rather not say.

Just Like Marketing

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Just Like Marketing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, marketing, project, managers, stupidity, transfer, extinguished, divinity

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boss: how's your project going? dilbert: it was doing fine until a thick wave of stupidity swept over it and extinguished my spark of divinity. i don't know what will become of me. boss: i'll transfer you to marketing. they're all like that.

Mind Reading

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Mind Reading - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, judge, ruling, gavel, proof, thoughts, unfair, mind, reading

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court of stupidity judge with gavel: the court rules that dilbert should magically know what his boss wants at all times. dilbert: i'm not a mind-reader! judge: prove it! dilbert: how can i prove i can't read minds? judge: easy. tell me what i'm not thinking.

Trial Postponed

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Trial Postponed - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, trial, court, stupidity, judge, dare, lawyer, postponed

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dogbert: your trial at the court of stupidity has been postponed. the judge is suffering from a gavel-related injury. dilbert: did you attack him with a gavel? dogbert: didn't need to. the man can't say no to a dare.

Court Of Stupidity

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Court Of Stupidity - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, legal, court, lawyer, stupidity, appeal, bailiff

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dilbert at table with dogbert: my boss is accusing me o not knowing what he was thinking. i need you to be my lawyer and handle my appeal to the court of stupidity. court of stupidity the court rules in favor of the bailiff.