Ask Comic Strips - Page 36

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

413 Results for Ask

View 351 - 360 results for ask comic strips. Discover the best "Ask" comics from Dilbert.com.

Wally Didn't Write It Down

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Didn't Write It Down - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags deadline, project, excuse, procrastinate, delay

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: Did you finish the prototype? Wally: I didn't start because I had some questions. Man: Why didn't you ask me those questions a month ago? Wally: I was waiting until I saw you. Man: Fine... what are your questions? Wally: I just realized I didn't write them down.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags avoiding, avoidance, offense

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina; Are you going to the department meeting? Dilbert: Yes, as soon as I plan my route. I have seven co-workers who I need to avoid on the way. Three are nonstop talkers. The other four ask me for something every time I see them. I've mapped their likely locations and I'm working out an avoidance path. Yes, I think I can do it. Tina: Is that my name on your list of employees to avoid? Dilbert: I didn't say it was a perfect system.

Tina Wants To Borrow Wally's Phone

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Tina Wants To Borrow Wally's Phone - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags cell phone, germs, cleanliness, bathroom, technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: My phone is broken. Can I use yours to make a call? Wally: Absolutely. If it seems warm, that's because I was using it in the men's room for the past two hours. Tina: I'll ask someone else. Wally: Yup.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags thinking, ideas

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: I can't figure out what is wrong with my code. Dilbert: Try rubber ducking it. Man: What? Dilbert: Rubber ducking is when you solve your coding problem by explaining it to a toy rubber duck. When you explain a problem to someone else, it forces you to look at it from new angles. Man: I can't tell if that is a brilliant idea or a practical joke. Dilbert: Ask your boss. Man: Okay, is rubber ducking a brilliant idea or a practical joke. Boss: It's a brilliant idea. I get most of my management ideas by talking to an imaginary rhesus monkey. Dilbert: I think you muddied the waters there a little bit.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags failure, power, interns, roadblock

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: You'll need to get buy-in from the other departments. Asok: You have given me an impossible task. I am only an intern. No one will agree to anything I ask because I have no power to hurt them. Most department heads won't even schedule a meeting with me. And if they do, they will end up canceling it at the last minute and rescheduling. There is literally no way for me to succeed at this task. Boss: I also need you to ask them to fund your project out of their budgets.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags time machine, time travel, experiment, algorithm, planning, mistake, error, science

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss; Ted, we need a volunteer to test the time machine prototype. Ted: Is it safe? Boss: Of course it is. Would I ask you to risk your life if it were not safe? Ted: Yes. Boss: Oh, I didn't realize you knew that. But don't worry. The engineering consensus is that it will work. Dilbert: You will return to this exact spot in one day. Alice: Does our location algorithm account for planetary movement? Ted: I should have asked more questions.

Be Creative With Funding

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Be Creative With Funding  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags budget, creativity, funding, money, progress, trick

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I couldn't do any work this week because you forgot to ask for funding for my project. Boss: Stop making excuses. Be creative. Ted: Why do you want to know my project charge code? Dilbert: Just curious.

Alice Helps Asok With Slides

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Alice Helps Asok With Slides  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags presentation, public speaking, powerpoint, slide, Advice, speech

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: Can you help me edit my slides for my CEO presentation? I have 75 slides and ten minutes to present. Alice: Get rid of 74 of them. Asok: I'll ask someone else.

Adding A Feature

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Adding A Feature - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags technology, design, changes, planning, managers

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Add this feature to the software. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! Why didn't you ask for this weeks ago when it would have been easy???? Boss: This is nothing. Wait until you see the feature I ask for next week.

Bad At Your Job

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Bad At Your Job - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers, instructions, directions, insubordinate

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted: Your code doesn't conform to my architectural guidelines. Dilbert: That's because you're bad at your job and I'm good at mine. Ted: I don't know how to respond to that. Dilbert: Maybe you could ask someone who knows how to do your job.