Big Business Comic Strips - Page 36

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Big Business

View 351 - 360 results for big business comic strips. Discover the best "Big Business" comics from Dilbert.com.

Universe Preparing Problems

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Universe Preparing Problems - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, universe, preparing, problems, anger, laptop, hate

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert thinking in from of laptop: uh-oh. i don't seem to have any actual problems today. the universe hates it when i have no problems. it must be preparing a big one. dilbert yelling: what's it gonna be this time, universe?! carol: i'll come back.

Non Disclosure Denied

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Non Disclosure Denied - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, sales, sales personnel, nondisclosure agreement, product, new, waste, refusal, sign, company, vendor, lawyer, idiot

View Transcript

Transcript

salesman: i'll need you to sign a nondisclosure agreement before i can show you our new product. dilbert: you wasted a trip here because i won't be doing that. the fact that you even asked me to sign an nda tells me your company is incompetent. dilbert: i prefer giving my business to a vendor who can show me their product without getting a lawyer involved. salesman: you could sign it without having your lawyer review it. dilbert yelling: do i look like an idiot? salesman holding out nda toward dilbert. dilbert: well? do i? salesman: only form your chin to your forehead area.

Wally The Rebel

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally The Rebel - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, business, problem, authority, lazy, rebel, like it, business cards, sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: wally, you have a problem with authority. wally: wow! i thought i was lazy. but maybe i'm actually a rebel. yes, i like it. can i add it to my business cards? boss yelling: no!

Inspirational Poster

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Inspirational Poster - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, sarcasm, new, inspirational, poster, apathy, die, criticize, draft, not good

View Transcript

Transcript

dogbert: i'm going into the inspirational poster business. so far, all i have is "nothing matters because you're going to die anyway." dilbert: that's not good. dogbert: it's easy to criticize a first draft.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, secretaries (office), work ethic, filling in for boss, workstation vacation, being in charge, pverarted, martini glass, drinking, umbrella in drink, secretary, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice says, "I'm filling in for your boss this week, and I need twenty copies." Carol says, "That's not how it works. When he's out of the office I take a workstation vacation." Alice says, "I don't like being in charge." Carol says, "I hear it's overrated."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags deception, managers & supervisors, learn from mistakes, make alits, wrong this year, coincidence, perfromance reviews, management legends, business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "We can learn from our mistakes. Let's make a list of the things that each of you did wrong this year." Dilbert says, "It is just a coincidence that our annual performance reviews are due next week?" The Boss says, "It would have been the stuff of management legends." Catbert says, "Very nice try."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, brain overload, detailed answer, broken, decison, nodding, sensing opportunity, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice says, "Now you've done it. He has brain overload from your unnecessarily detailed answer." Alice says, "Great. He's totally broken and we need a decision today." Dilbert says, "Is he nodding yes?" Alice says, "I'm sensing an opportunity here."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, ventriloquism, information overload, libertarian, taxidermist, hand hole, work, like puppet, creepy, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice says, "His brain shut down from information overload, so I asked a libertarian taxidermist to stuff him." Alice says, "There's a hand hole in the back so we can work him like a puppet." Dilbert says, "It's sort of creepy." Alice says, "You'll get used to it."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags engineers, managers & supervisors, ventriloquism, finishing projects, early, powerpoint, presentation, executive retreat, dead boss hand puppet, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Man says, "The engineering department is finishing all of their projects early and we don't know why." CEO says, "Tell them to do a powerpoint presentation at the next executive retreat to share their methods." Asok says, "Now it's my turn to use the dead boss hand puppet!" Alice says, "Uh-oh."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags inventions, managers & supervisors, portal, parallel uiverse, more prodcutive, universe, cops, alice killed boss, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok says, "I created a portal to a parallel universe. My success was possible because Alice killed our boss so we are all more productive." Alice says, "Step aside. The cops have been sniffing around and I need something from the other universe." Alice says, "Look on the bright side, Asok. Some other universe just got a lot more productive."