Employee Comic Strips - Page 36
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Character
515 Results for Employee
View 351 - 360 results for employee comic strips. Discover the best "Employee" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday April 25,
2008
Tags creature, employee, licks face, meeting, strategic alliance, tongue, business
Transcript
The Boss says, "We could only find one company in the galaxy willing to form a strategic alliance with us." The Boss says, "Admiral B'Tang-B'tang is here to describe how we can help each other." foop! The Boss says, "Stop saying 'foop', Ted."
Monday August 25,
2008
Tags company secrets, Dilbert, elbonia, laptop, mittens, spies stole
Transcript
Elbonia An Elbonian says, "Our spies stole this laptop from an employee named Dilbert." The Elbonian says, "Ha ha! We will find his company's secrets and use them!" Another Elbonian says, "heh-heh." Six months later An Elbonian says, "Do you remember mittens? I loved having mittens." The other Elbonian says, "Shut up!!"
Saturday January 23,
2010
Tags sitting, survey, benefits, human resources, business
Transcript
CATBERT: EVIL DIRECTOR OF HUMAN RESOURCES Catbert says, ?According to the employee survey, you want fewer benefits.? Dilbert says, ?I don't remember doing a survey.? Catbert says, ?We polled a random sample.? Dilbert says, ?That seems a bit suspicious.? Catbert says, ?In other findings, you want more verbal abuse.?
Wednesday February 03,
2010
Tags ted, wrong, termination, fired, documents, security access, passwords, fix, fugitive, security, trick
Transcript
The Boss says, "Carol, you filled out Ted's termination documents wrong. You put my name in the box as the fired employee." The Boss says, "My security access has been revoked. My phone is shut off, and my passwords are deactivated." The Boss says, "You need to fix this." Carol says, "Security, I found the fugitive."
Friday May 07,
2010
Tags evil director of human resources, payroll expenses low, bad reviews, employees, defects, list, faults, alphabetical, business
Transcript
Catbert says, "We can keep our payroll expenses low by giving employees bad reviews." Catbert says, "Use this list of employee defects so you don't repeat yourself. It's less obvious this way." The Boss says, "Awkward, bumbling, cowardly, dumb?" Dilbert says, "My faults are suspiciously alphabetical."
Monday September 13,
2010
Tags new employee, coworker, meeting, introduce, front, marketing, social media, facebook, twitter, blog, scared, point, accuse, fire, business, technology
Transcript
The Boss says, "Beth is our new marketing manager for social media." The Boss says, "By the way, company policy forbids the use of Facebook and Twitter at work. And we don't trust you to work from home." The Boss says, "If you blog about how lame we are, you're fired!!!" Beth thinks, "First day, not so good."
Tuesday September 14,
2010
Tags meeting, facebook, twitter, marketing, social media, new employee, coworker, cats, drunk, stupid, business, technology
Transcript
Beth says, "As the marketing manager for social media, my job is to use these two words a lot." Beth says, "Marketing through social media is like herding cats. And just to make it interesting, many of the cats are drunk and stupid." Dilbert says, "Burn." Catbert says, "I am totally defriending that witch."
Thursday September 30,
2010
Tags boss, employee, meeting, change, freak out, panic, mouth open, yell, eyes closed, death, business, medical
Transcript
The Boss says, "Don't be afraid of change, Asok." Asok says, "Okay. Wait. What?" Asok says, "You subtle implication is that I should change to be more like you!" The Boss says, "Bumpy start." Asok says, "I choose death!"
Thursday October 07,
2010
Tags meeting, boss, employee, stupid question, inspire, angry, dead body, business
Transcript
The Boss says, "Carol, how can I make you feel more inspired by your work?" Carol says, "I'm an admin, you steaming log. The only thing that would inspire me is finding your corpse floating in my worst enemy's drinking water." The Boss says, "It's just something they make me ask." Carol says, "Can I get back to my meaningless work now?"
Monday October 18,
2010
Tags sales bonus level, happy, smile, employee, salesman, too low
Transcript
The Boss says, "Ken, you've almost reached your sales bonus level with time to spare." The Boss says, "Obviously I set your bonus threshold too low. I'll need to adjust it upward retroactively." Ken says, "Maybe I'm just a great salesperson!" The Boss says, "That's the spirit! Stay hungry!"


