Full Body Comic Strips - Page 36
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379 Results for Full Body
View 351 - 360 results for full body comic strips. Discover the best "Full Body" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday November 08,
2016
The Virus Afterlife
Tags #soul, #conscience, #morality, #morals, #sentience, #life, #death, #existence, #medical
Transcript
Dilbert: I couldn't find any evidence that I have a soul, so I built an artificial one and put it in a drone. When my physical body dies, the drone will upload my memories and personality to the cloud to live forever. Woman: Your soul will be trapped in a server? Dilbert: No, I wrapped it in a virus so I can travel.
Sunday December 18,
2016
Tags #criticism, #excuse, #illness
Transcript
Wally: I have a note from my doctor. It says I'm too sensitive to handle criticism. I don't understand all the medical details. It has something to do with the mind-body connection. One minor criticism from you and my lungs will collapse. If that happens, you'll need to pinch my nose, create a seal with your mouth, and reinflate them. Boss: This doctor's note looks like your handwriting. Wally: Ow! My lung!
Thursday December 15,
2016
Asok Has Worst Job In The World
Tags #hit man, #job, #happiness, #satisfaction, #doppelganger, #double, #lookalike, #business, #psychology
Transcript
Asok: I thought I accidentally killed the creator of Garfield, but it turns out I killed his body double. Our boss ordered me to do the hit. I have the worst job in the world. Dilbert: No, I think that body double has the worst job. Asok: I'm only talking about the living.
Sunday January 08,
2017
Tags #human, #human nature, #arguing, #argument, #social media, #logic, #critic, #troll, #technology
Transcript
Dilbert: If we move this button to here, people are more likely to see it. Man: Ha ha! OMG. LOL. So you think every person in the universe is blind? I can't wait to tell everyone that Dilbert thinks people have no eyes. The pure craziness of what you are saying is mid-boggling. Do you have any scientific proof that moving that button would not cause a nuclear holocaust? Dilbert: Everything you just said is dumb and unproductive, and I hate every molecule in your useless body. What's wrong with people? Dogbert: I keep tell you, it's everything.
Saturday January 28,
2017
Tricky To Be An Optimist
Tags #coffee, #conversation, #glass
Transcript
Boss: Are you done writing the soft-ware? Wally: Yes, but it has some bugs. Boss: How is that different from not being done? Wally: I see the glass as half full. Boss: Half full of bugs? Wally: Optimism is tricky.
Monday August 21,
2017
Tina Writes Product Warnings
Tags #user guide, #caution, #directions, #safety
Transcript
Boss: Tina, I need you to write the product warning section for the user guide. Make sure you cover every possible danger. Tina: "Never use this product while standing below a poorly maintained helicopter full of porcupines."
Saturday September 16,
2017
Reanimated Employee
Tags #soul, #death, #near death experience, #heaven, #hell, #medical
Transcript
Dilbert: How did you end up with no soul? Randy: I died during surgery and my soul went to the afterlife before doctors reanimated my body. Dilbert: I thought the soul returns when that happens. Randy: You're thinking of heaven.
Thursday October 05,
2017
Pictures Lie
Tags #photos, #truth, #lying, #deceit, #photoshop, #public relations, #pr, #appearances
Transcript
CEO: The public doesn't believe I really helped serve food at the homeless shelter. Dogbert: Tell them pictures don't lie. CEO: Pictures lie all the time. In fact, that's the best way to lie. Dogbert: Keep that insight to yourself. CEO: I have a full head of hair on Tinder.
Sunday November 19,
2017
Tags #condescention, #disagreement, #criticism, #snark, #body language, #argument
Transcript
Dilbert: Are there any questions? Man: Your plan is so dumb that I am forced to make my condescending face to respond. You are so dumb! Dilbert: Did you have a reason? Man: Do I have a reason? Hahaha! That's precious. There are so many reasons that I don't know where to start! Dilbert: Just pick one. Man: Haha! Easy. You will never get funded. Dilbert: It's already fully funded. What else do you have? Man: To be honest, all I had was the funding issues and this face.
Wednesday November 01,
2017
App For A Better Boss
Tags #technology, #invention, #mind control, #neural interface
Transcript
Dilbert: The neural interface is live. His brain is now communicating with his phone. Alice: He's sending me a brain-text. It says "Please help me. My phone has taken control of my body." Dilbert: It worked! Alice: Now we just need to write an app that makes him a better boss.