High Five Comic Strips - Page 36
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363 Results for High Five
View 351 - 360 results for high five comic strips. Discover the best "High Five" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday April 06,
2020
Extra Dogbert Clone
Tags business, marketing, genius, problem, company, situation, clone, blame
Transcript
the marketing genius dogbert: my genius alone will not be enough to fix the problems at this company. this looks like a five-dogbert situation. that is why i arranged to clone myself five times. boss: what's the extra clone for? dogbert: that one takes the blame.
Tuesday April 07,
2020
Three Dogberts
Tags business, Dogbert, marketing, plan, clone, singularity, event, book
Transcript
dogbert on desk with three dogberts behind him: i've got three dogberts working on your marketing plan, but even that isn't enough. i'd bump it up to five dogcarts, but then we risk creating a singularity event. boss: i don't get it. dogbert: read a book.
Sunday June 07,
2020
Should Have Done It Sooner
Tags business, dollars, failure, managers & supervisors, patch, payroll, problem, raise, savings, software, technology, years
Transcript
dilbert: i wrote a software patch that will save three million dollars per year. i feel as if i deserve a bonus or a raise. boss: when did you do it? dilbert: this week. boss: how long did we have the problem? dilbert: five years. boss: then you should have fixed it five years ago. looks like a gigantic failure to me. you should be ashamed of yourself. in another room catbert: did you try my strategy for keeping payroll expenses low? boss: works like magic.
Tuesday June 02,
2020
Face Mask Assissination
Tags health & safety, office workers, suspicion, pandemic, virus, risk
Transcript
Carol: I think we should seriously consider ending the face mask policy. Boss: You know I'm in a high-risk group, and you are in a low-risk group. Are you trying to assassinate me? Carol: You can't prove that. Boss: I was hoping for something closer to a denial.
Thursday August 13,
2020
Edits Without Tracking
Tags accident, business, complex, delete, document, edit, email, face mask, forgot, technology, tracker
Transcript
co-worker: i edited your incredibly complex document and sent it to you by email. dilbert: i don't see your high-lighted changes. co-worker: i forgot to turn on the edit tracker. dilbert: i'm going to accidentally delete your email. co-worker: that's probably how i'd play it too.
Tuesday August 18,
2020
Social Media Poisoning
Tags health, medical, doctor, social media, poison, defensive, angry, self-control, weight, pounds, shaming, fat, over reaction
Transcript
dilbert in doctor's office. dilbert: i think i have social media poisoning. it makes me feel defensive and angry all the time, but i can't quit. doctor: you've gained five pounds. dilbert yelling: you fat-shaming quack!
Sunday October 18,
2020
When To Reply To Boss Text
Tags boss, business, communication, performance, response, review, sarcasm, spreadsheet, technology, text
Transcript
wally: how long should i wait before responding to a text message from my boss? dilbert: that depends. are you already overworked? wally: um, sure. dilbert: do you need to teach him a lesson for any unrelated things he did? wally: always. dilbert: do you dislike him in general? wally: yes. dilbert: lastly, how many months until your next performance review? wally: seven. dilbert: okay....putting those inputs into my spreadsheet. you can wait 27 minutes before responding. wally: oh. i was hoping it would be closer to five days. dilbert: when did he text you? wally: i believe it was august.
Tuesday October 20,
2020
Quarantine Wally
Tags avoid, business, clean, covid-19, hazmat suit, health & safety, quarantine, symptoms, wash, pandemic
Transcript
man in hazmat suit: you reported covid-19 symptoms, so we have to quarantine you. wally: i don't have symptoms. i just said i did to avoid a meeting. man in hazmat suit: well, you probably have it now. i haven't washed this hazmat suit in five months.
Wednesday March 10,
2021
Pandemic For 75 Years
Tags cell phone, covid-19, health & safety, pandemic, science, scientist, numb, sarcasm
Transcript
dilbert reading cell phone: scientists now say the pandemic will last seventy-five years. dilbert and dogbert say nothing. dilbert: yup, i'm numb.
Saturday March 20,
2021
Because Of The Pandemic
Tags business, covid-19, managers & supervisors, pandemic, technology, projects, behind, schedule, virus, laptop, coffee
Transcript
boss: wally, four out of five of your projects are behind schedule. wally: that's because of the pandemic. boss: one of your projects is on schedule. wally: that's because of me.