High Five Comic Strips - Page 36

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363 Results for High Five

View 351 - 360 results for high five comic strips. Discover the best "High Five" comics from Dilbert.com.

Extra Dogbert Clone

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Extra Dogbert Clone - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, marketing, genius, problem, company, situation, clone, blame

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the marketing genius dogbert: my genius alone will not be enough to fix the problems at this company. this looks like a five-dogbert situation. that is why i arranged to clone myself five times. boss: what's the extra clone for? dogbert: that one takes the blame.

Three Dogberts

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Three Dogberts - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, Dogbert, marketing, plan, clone, singularity, event, book

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dogbert on desk with three dogberts behind him: i've got three dogberts working on your marketing plan, but even that isn't enough. i'd bump it up to five dogcarts, but then we risk creating a singularity event. boss: i don't get it. dogbert: read a book.

Should Have Done It Sooner

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Should Have Done It Sooner - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, dollars, failure, managers & supervisors, patch, payroll, problem, raise, savings, software, technology, years

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dilbert: i wrote a software patch that will save three million dollars per year. i feel as if i deserve a bonus or a raise. boss: when did you do it? dilbert: this week. boss: how long did we have the problem? dilbert: five years. boss: then you should have fixed it five years ago. looks like a gigantic failure to me. you should be ashamed of yourself. in another room catbert: did you try my strategy for keeping payroll expenses low? boss: works like magic.

Face Mask Assissination

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Face Mask Assissination - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags health & safety, office workers, suspicion, pandemic, virus, risk

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Carol: I think we should seriously consider ending the face mask policy. Boss: You know I'm in a high-risk group, and you are in a low-risk group. Are you trying to assassinate me? Carol: You can't prove that. Boss: I was hoping for something closer to a denial.

Edits Without Tracking

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 Edits Without Tracking  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags accident, business, complex, delete, document, edit, email, face mask, forgot, technology, tracker

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co-worker: i edited your incredibly complex document and sent it to you by email. dilbert: i don't see your high-lighted changes. co-worker: i forgot to turn on the edit tracker. dilbert: i'm going to accidentally delete your email. co-worker: that's probably how i'd play it too.

Social Media Poisoning

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 Social Media Poisoning  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags health, medical, doctor, social media, poison, defensive, angry, self-control, weight, pounds, shaming, fat, over reaction

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dilbert in doctor's office. dilbert: i think i have social media poisoning. it makes me feel defensive and angry all the time, but i can't quit. doctor: you've gained five pounds. dilbert yelling: you fat-shaming quack!

When To Reply To Boss Text

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When To Reply To Boss Text  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, business, communication, performance, response, review, sarcasm, spreadsheet, technology, text

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wally: how long should i wait before responding to a text message from my boss? dilbert: that depends. are you already overworked? wally: um, sure. dilbert: do you need to teach him a lesson for any unrelated things he did? wally: always. dilbert: do you dislike him in general? wally: yes. dilbert: lastly, how many months until your next performance review? wally: seven. dilbert: okay....putting those inputs into my spreadsheet. you can wait 27 minutes before responding. wally: oh. i was hoping it would be closer to five days. dilbert: when did he text you? wally: i believe it was august.

Quarantine Wally

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Quarantine Wally - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags avoid, business, clean, covid-19, hazmat suit, health & safety, quarantine, symptoms, wash, pandemic

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man in hazmat suit: you reported covid-19 symptoms, so we have to quarantine you. wally: i don't have symptoms. i just said i did to avoid a meeting. man in hazmat suit: well, you probably have it now. i haven't washed this hazmat suit in five months.

Pandemic For 75 Years

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Pandemic For 75 Years - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags cell phone, covid-19, health & safety, pandemic, science, scientist, numb, sarcasm

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dilbert reading cell phone: scientists now say the pandemic will last seventy-five years. dilbert and dogbert say nothing. dilbert: yup, i'm numb.

Because Of The Pandemic

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Because Of The Pandemic - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, covid-19, managers & supervisors, pandemic, technology, projects, behind, schedule, virus, laptop, coffee

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boss: wally, four out of five of your projects are behind schedule. wally: that's because of the pandemic. boss: one of your projects is on schedule. wally: that's because of me.