Managers Comic Strips - Page 36

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593 Results for Managers

View 351 - 360 results for managers comic strips. Discover the best "Managers" comics from Dilbert.com.

Would It Look The Same

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Would It Look The Same - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #sarcasm, #dumb, #smart

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Dilbert: Hypothetically, how would you know if I were dumber than you or much smarter? Because in both cases I would make choices that you wouldn't understand. Wouldn't it look the same to you? Boss: I don't enjoy talking to you.

Dilbert Characters

Try Hiding

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Try Hiding - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Advice, #boss, #compliment, #criticism, #ego, #employees, #managers & supervisors

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Dogbert: If you compliment your employees, they will get big heads and think they are underpaid. But if you criticize them, they will be unhappy and quit. Boss: What should I do instead of those things? Dogbert: Have you tried hiding?

Hypothetical Observer

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Hypothetical Observer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #employees, #insults, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #sarcasm, #idiot

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Dilbert: Thank you for explaining to me how to do my job, for which I am highly trained and you are not. An observer might be tempted to say only an idiot would do such a thing. Boss: Is that an insult? Dilbert: Hey, don't blame me for what a hypothetical observer says.

Goofy Words

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Goofy Words - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #proposal, #understand, #clarification, #end, #misunderstand

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dilbert: and that's my blockchain proposal. any questions? boss: there was a part i didn't understand. dilbert: which part? boss: the words dilbert: all of them? boss: only the goofy ones. such as token, smart contract, certainty as a service, utxo blockchains, node, ledger, and daps. dilbert: so... you didn't understand anything i said for the past hour? boss: don't try to turn this into my fault dilbert: you could have asked me to clarify boss: i also wanted it to end.

Solves Too Few Problems

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Solves Too Few Problems - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #technology, #proposal, #problems, #quitter

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boss: your proposed solution is dumb because it doesn't solve all of our problems. dilbert: there's no such thing as a solution that solves all our problems. maybe we should solve the ones we can solve? boss: you're coming off as a quitter

Lack Of Strategy

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Lack Of Strategy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #strategy, #business, #company, #employees, #nothing

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dilbert: once again, it seems you accomplished absolutely nothing this week wally: no on will tell me our company's strategy, so anything i did would be random flailing boss: a lack of strategy isn't keeping anyone else from working wally: but shouldn't it?

Practice Makes Perfect

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Practice Makes Perfect - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #practice, #estimate, #errors, #business, #incorrect

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boss: how can i trust your estimate when you have been wrong every other time? wally: practice makes perfect boss: um... boss thinking: i just realized i don't know how anything works.

Slippery Slope

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Slippery Slope - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #slippery, #slope, #approval, #database, #cosmetic, #surgery, #insult

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dilbert: can i take this database class? boss: no, that's a slippery slope. if i approve that class, next you will demand i pay for cosmetic surgery. dilbert: do i look like i need it? boss: only in two places - your face and your body

Filled Bathtub To The Attic

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Filled Bathtub To The Attic - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #business, #bathtub, #home, #weekend, #water, #attic, #chimney

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boss: i forgot i was filling my bathtub and went away for the weekend. now my house is full of water all the way to the attic. i don't know what to do. wally: try putting a hose in the chimney and sucking.

Wally Has Skills

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Wally Has Skills - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #performance, #review, #robot, #design, #skills

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boss: wally, your performance is substandard. wally: give me a great performance review, or else i'll design a robot that will take your job. boss: you could do that? wally: i have the skills. i just don't like to use them.