Move Things Comic Strips - Page 36
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540 Results for Move Things
View 351 - 360 results for move things comic strips. Discover the best "Move Things" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday June 07,
2010
Tags #report, #strategy, #boss' job, #labels, #managing
Transcript
Alice says, "We've pieced together the fragments of your poor communication and believe we have deduced your strategy." Alice says, "It appears that you are trying to get paid for doing little more than giving stupid labels to things." The Boss says, "It's called managing!" Alice says, "Good one."
Tuesday June 22,
2010
Tags #date, #romance, #cook, #sarcastic, #insult, #free catering
Transcript
Woman says, "I like it when a man cooks for me." Dilbert says, "I love it when a woman knows the difference between affection and free catering." Dilbert says, "We wanted different things."
Thursday June 24,
2010
Tags #mishear, #avoid work, #lazy, #no shame, #pour coffee, #budget estimate
Transcript
Dilbert says, "Rumor has it that you're pretending to hear things wrong to avoid work." Wally says, "It works great. The secret is to have no shame whatsoever." Coworker says, "Wally, do you have the revised budget estimate?" Wally says, "No, because you asked for a remized bugmet yestitet."
Friday July 02,
2010
Tags #rolling forecast, #worthless, #sarcasm, #meeting, #snork, #laugh, #drink coffee, #business
Transcript
The Boss says, "I've decided to move to a rolling forecast." Dilbert says, "So, the problem is that forecasts are worthless, and your solution is to do more of them?" Dilbert says, "If my sarcasm is a problem, I can solve that by doing more of it." Wally says, "SNORK"
Saturday July 31,
2010
Tags #lecture, #office, #philosophy, #point, #unknown, #go home early
Transcript
Dilbert says, "There's no objective standard for measuring how much I should accomplish in any given day." Dilbert says, "Nor can we really know if things would have turned out better had I don't things differently." The Boss says, "Do you have a point?" Dilbert says, "I'm going home early. See if you can tell the difference."
Monday August 02,
2010
Tags #update, #script, #accomplish, #work, #suspicious
Transcript
Wally says, "I made a script to write from the UFR SQL function to a log table I created for the DB so I can find the parameter errors." Wally says, "I'm giving you this status update while the script is running, so I'm accomplishing two things now." The Boss says, "How do I know you really did that thing you just said?" Wally says, "I guess now I'm doing your job too."
Thursday August 26,
2010
Tags #meeting, #drink coffee, #forget, #morning person, #business
Transcript
Wally says, "I've already forgotten everything that was said at the beginning of this meeting." SLURP Wally says, "I used to think I wasn't a morning person, but things never got better after lunch."
Thursday September 16,
2010
Tags #book deal, #quotes, #stupid, #dumb, #quote fingers, #intellectual, #tweet, #twitter, #social media, #angry, #grit teeth, #nonsense, #yell, #spill coffee, #technology
Transcript
Asok says, "Good news: I got a book deal based entirely on the dumb things you've said." Asok says, "It's totally legal because the law only protects 'intellectual' property." The Boss says, "Frugga bugga!!!" Asok says, "And so began the sequel."
Friday October 01,
2010
Tags #marketing, #meeting, #big mouth, #open, #stupid, #product, #guess, #business
Transcript
Man says, "Our marketing campaign depends on a word of mouth. Unfortunately, our product is bad." Man says, "So we found a guy with poor judgment and a huge mouth to say good things." Man 2 says, "Present." Dilbert says, "Marketing isn't a real thing, is it?" Man says, "It's mostly guessing."
Friday November 26,
2010
Tags #meeting, #director of purchasing, #dinosaur, #new system, #annoyed, #revenge, #oil, #gas, #extinct, #suv, #ancestors, #business
Transcript
The Boss says, "Bob is the director of purchasing. He's here to describe our new procurement proces." Bob says, "Our system divides products into two categories: Things you don't want, and things you're not allowed to buy." Bob says, "It's my way of saying thanks for lubing your SUV with my dead ancestors."