Retail Business Comic Strips - Page 36
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1000 Results for Retail Business
View 351 - 360 results for retail business comic strips. Discover the best "Retail Business" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday December 13,
1993
Tags Dilbert, business meeting, customer, stan, programming, computers science, computer, star trek
Transcript
Dilbert sits at a conference table with Stan and a customer. Stan says, "And our product has a thirty terabit RAM cache, just like your company needs. Tell him, Dilbert." Dilbert says, "It has no RAM." Stan continues, "And it's capable of detecting tachion field emissions." Dilbert says, "You're confusing use with 'Star Trek' again, Stan." Stan continues, "We'll build that stuff into the next free upgrade." The customer replies, "We'll take it!" Dilbert thinks, "Beam me up, Spock. There's no life on this planet."
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Monday January 03,
1994
Tags transferred, marketing, slaps employee, groggy, disoriented, fit in better, business
Transcript
The Boss: Im sorry Dave, But your being transferred to marketing and theres no budget to train you as a marketer. Slap! Dave: where am I? I need a drink. The Boss: This is a temporary fix...but you'll fit in now.
Monday March 07,
1994
Tuesday April 12,
1994
Wednesday April 13,
1994
Tags committed to buy, cost justify, ethical, execuitve, translate, vendor, weasel, words
Transcript
Weasel: tell me about your project and I'll translate it into weasel words for the business case. Dilbert: well, and executive had lunch with a vendor and committed to buy some stuff that doesn't work. Our job is to cost - justify the decision. Wesel: I quit Dilbert: Don't get all ethical on us.
Monday May 02,
1994
Saturday May 14,
1994
Tags huge time saver, final consulting, company, deadweight, employees.fired, company directory, business
Transcript
Ratbert: Here's my final consulting report on your company. Ive listed all the deadweight employees who should be fired. The Boss: This is the company directory. Ratbert: Finding that was a huge time saver.
Tuesday May 17,
1994
Tags build, meeting, project kick off, project manager, super fast microchips, harder to saboatge, business
Transcript
"Thank you all for coming to the project kick-off meeting." "As project manager I've decided not to tell you the purpose of the project. That way it will be harder for you to sabotage it." "Does it require ny super-fast microchips?" "Good lord, no. Don't build any of those...by Tuesday."
Tuesday June 28,
1994
Tags book publishing, reject authors, untalented dolts, publish something, conventional wisdom
Transcript
"How's the book publishing business coming along?" "Great!" "I get to reject dozens of authors every day! I call them untalented dolts and they THANK me for it." "Eventually, you have to actually publish something." "Yeah, well, that's the conventional wisdom."
Saturday November 05,
1994
Tags right sizing, company, bright sizing, laughter, bananas at lunch, business
Transcript
Dilbert, Wally and a man sit at a table eating lunch. The man says, "Instead of 'right-sizing' our company is 'bright-sizing.' That's when all the bright people leave!" They all laugh. They stop laughing and Dilbert says, "Hey! We all brought bananas."

