Same Meail Comic Strips - Page 36

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

369 Results for Same Meail

View 351 - 360 results for same meail comic strips. Discover the best "Same Meail" comics from Dilbert.com.

Parody Or Real

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Parody Or Real - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #joke, #sarcasm, #technology, #boss, #business, #department, #proposal, #reality, #parody, #inversion

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: ever since the parody inversion, no one can tell the difference between jokes and reality boss: i need you to get buy-in on this proposal from all thirteen department heads by tomorrow wally: was that real or parody? dilbert: i think they're the same now

Dilbert Characters

Garbage Man Breaks Fourth Wall

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Garbage Man Breaks Fourth Wall - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #psychology, #reality, #parody, #broken, #business, #garbage, #Comic, #indistinguishable

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: reality has become so absurd that it is indistinguishable from parody. how can we fix that? garbage man: there is nothing to fix. reality has always been the same as parody. you just didn't notice until now. dilbert: you're joking, right? garbage man: check out this comic strip called "dilbert"

Two Places At Once

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Two Places At Once - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #business, #meeting, #time, #states, #impossible

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: you committed me to two different meetings at the same time in different states. it is not possible to be in two places at the same time wally: pfft! i could do it boss: even wally could do it

Thwarting Alice's Career

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Thwarting Alice's Career - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #mentor, #deny, #Promotion, #compete, #thwart, #career, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

alice: can you mentor me? boss: heck, no. you're only one promotion away from competing for my job. alice: well, maybe you could just stop thwarting my career? boss: no, same issue.

Nodding Approval

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Nodding Approval - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #co-workers, #nodding, #positive, #reinforcement, #repeat, #boring, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: you have now made the same point nine times in a row while i sit here nodding. what will it take to make you stop repeating yourself? co-worker: you'll need to stop nodding in agreement. i'm addicted to positive reinforcement.

Judging By Looks

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Judging By Looks - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #interview, #manager, #judge, #offensive, #social media, #nonesense

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: i'd like to offer you a job, but ten years ago you said something offensive on social media. interviewee: i'm not the same person i was ten years ago. you are judging me by the actions of someone who literally no longer exists. boss: i get your point, but if i go back to the old way of judging people by their looks, we still end up in the same place.

Dogbert Designs Headphones

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dogbert Designs Headphones - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #design, #business, #headphones, #maximum, #customer, #annoyance, #charging, #port, #guess, #incorrect, #frustration, #fit, #customers, #ship, #user

View Transcript

Transcript

dogbert: i've designed these over-ear headphones for maximum customer annoyance. the charging port is only on one side, so the user has a fifty percent chance of guessing wrong. and the charger only fits if you put it right-side up. to increase the frustration, i made the plug look the same on both sides. best of all, the plug is so poorly designed that half the time it doesn't seem to fit, even when you put it in correctly. i made the headphones black, so you can't easily find the charger hole in low light. ninety percent of users will be cursing us every time they try to recharge. customers won't know any of this until after they purchase. boss: ship it.

Asok Meditates

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Asok Meditates - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #coffee, #psychology, #sarcasm, #business, #meditation, #think, #work, #co-worker, #technology, #enlightenment

View Transcript

Transcript

asok: have you ever tried meditating? wally: sounds like a lot of work. asok: it is the opposite of work. all you have to do is sit in one place and think of nothing in particular. wally: can i drink coffee at the same time. asok: that is not recommended. wally: in other words, meditating is what i already do, but without the advantage of coffee? asok: perhaps you have already achieved enlightenment. wally: feels that way to me.

Version 2 Kills

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Version 2 Kills - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #upgrade, #software, #technology, #version, #health, #issue, #nonsense

View Transcript

Transcript

wally with face mask giving presentation: according to our newest data, 100% of the people who upgraded to version 2.0 of our software died the same day. wally to boss: but we don't think it means anything because all of them had underlying health issues. boss: how did they all have underlying health issues? wally: version 1.0 had some rough edges too.

No Lunch With You

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
No Lunch With You - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #diseases, #lunch, #office workers, #rejection, #virus, #pandemic, #invitation, #social distancing

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Would you like to join me for lunch? Woman: I don't even want to be in the same zip code as your diseased mouth. No offense. Dilbert: None taken.