Service Business Comic Strips - Page 36

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Service Business

View 351 - 360 results for service business comic strips. Discover the best "Service Business" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags employees, ignorance (knowledge), fire wally, can't risk, zeberpupin system, only one, program, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I want to fire Wally, but I can't risk it. He says he's the only one who can program the Zeberpupin System. Catbert: Are you sure that's true? Boss: It must be. No one else has even heard of it.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags embarrassed of son, Family, food service industry, insult, locksmith, mother, named project manger, paying for lunch, restaurants, sons occupation, don't tell freinds

View Transcript

Transcript

Mom, the good news I wanted to tell you is that my boss named me project manager. Mom: Please keep that to yourself. I tell my friends you're a locksmith. Dilbert: You're paying for your own lunch. Waiter: I'm Ed. I'll be your project manager.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags annoyance, another anonymous email, correlation, employees, link to article, worlds worst boss, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Someone sent me another anonymous email with a link to an article about the world's worst bosses. I get one of those emails every time I leave your cubicle. Did you think I wouldn't notice the correlation? Wally: Correlation does not imply causation.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags employees, secretaries (office), manually entered data, entire weekend, die monster!, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: I manually entered all of the employee data you wanted. It took the entire weekend. Boss: I probably should have told you I no longer need it. Carol: Die! Die! Die! You inconsiderate monster! Boss: Did you really enter all of the data? Carol: Maybe. Let's call it a tie.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business ethics, taxes, warren buffet, tax rate, subsidizing mansion, condescending, show appreciation, ceo, high tax, worker

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: Warren Buffett says your tax rate is higher than mine. Thank you for subsidizing my mansion, I really appreciate it. A good leader always shows appreciation to his underlings.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags big business, inventions, google, develop ideas, 60 hours, per week, math, education

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: At Google, we're encouraged to spend 20% of our time developing our own ideas. Dilbert: How many hours per week do you work? Man: About sixty. Wally: It sounds better when you don't do the math.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags employees, interviews, tools for job, resource, agree to disagree, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Question four: do you have the tools to do your job? Wally: That depends. Do you consider yourself a tool? Boss: I'm a resource. Wally: Let's agree to disagree.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business ethics, wealth, ceo, good job, 50 million dollar bonus, not motivated, bad genes, inequality, dosaprity, ceo and worker, unfair wages, crazy money, slave wages, more work, no rewards, money

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: What does our CEO get if he does a good job? Boss: A fifty million dollar bonus. Carol: What do I get if I do a good job? Boss: More work. Carol: What's your best guess about why I'm not motivated? Boss: Bad genes.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags big business, cost & standard of living, green goals, recycling bins, company documents, corporate secuirty, blue recycling bins, same policies

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: To reach our green goals, employees must always use the blue recycling bins for company documents. To satisfy our corporate security guidelines, never put company documents in the blue recycling bins. Dilbert: You read those same policies to us last week. Boss: I don't know how to get rid of them.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business ethics, retail business, sales trip, dont talk, misleading impression, engineering support, after sale, bag of meat, lying bag of meat

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I need you to come with me on a sales trip, but don't talk to the customer. Your presence is needed to give a misleading impression of how much engineering support we plan to offer after the sale. Dilbert: So I'm nothing but a bag of meat? Boss: No. You're a lying bag of meat.