Computer Programmers Comic Strips - Page 37

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

646 Results for Computer Programmers

View 361 - 370 results for computer programmers comic strips. Discover the best "Computer Programmers" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags digitized, indexed, worlds greatest art, last supper, composition cluttered, delete, replace, clip art, bagels

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at his computer. The boss stands. Dilbert says, "We've digitized and indexed the world's greatest art. This is 'The Last Supper.'" The boss says, "Nice but..." The boss says, "The composition is cluttered. Delete a few of those guys. Do you have any clip art of bagels?" The boss says, "Do they look happy?" Dilbert says, "Compared to me, yes."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags vital information, deadline, boss request, traded work ethic, banana, break room

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at his computer. The boss hands him a piece of paper. "I'll need this vital information by one o'clock." Dilbert thinks, "If I do a shoddy job, I can finish this and still make it to lunch!" Dilbert eats lunch with Alice and Wally. Dilbert says, "Today I traded my work ethic for a banana." Wally says, "I ate that banana years ago."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags user manual, review, left empty, blad engineer, draft, characters

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally sits at his computer. Tina the Tech Writer says, "Wally did review my draft of the user manual yet?" Wally says, "The characters in the examples gave me no reason to care about them. It left me empty." Wally gives Tina the papers. Tina the tech writer sits at her computer. Tina writes, "Sadly, user "B" could never love user "A" because he was a bald engineer."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags assign priority, chance in a million, process voucher, you're a one, long process, lies

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally hands Carol a piece of paper. Wally says, "How long will it take to process my voucher?" Carol says, "I assign a priority to everyone. I'm happy to say you're a 'one'." Carol sits in front of her computer. Carol thinks, "One chance in a million."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags broken binder award, once in a lifetime award, peers, dumping trash

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok sits at his computer. Dilbert hands him a binder. Dilbert says, "Asok, you're the winner of the prestigious "Broken Binder Award"." Asok smiles. Dilbert says, "It's a once-in-a-lifetime award that is voted on by your peers." Wally and Dilbert stand in front of Asok's cubicle. Inside the cubicle Asok holds the binder and cheers. Wally says, "How long have you been dumping your trash here?" Dilbert says, "Since my can got full."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags mordac, preventer if info services, y2k demon, not big, imagined bigger, cute, giant foot, y2k, fear, scared, culture, unknown

View Transcript

Transcript

Mordac stands in front of a shaking computer. Mordac says, "I am Mordac, the preventer of information services! I summon the Y2K demon!" A little tadpole like demon bursts out of the computer screen. Mordac says, "You're not as big as I imagined. I wonder why everyone is so afraid." Mordac holds the demon. Mordac says, "Cute!" A huge claw comes down to pick him up.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags tina tech writer, engineers, information requested, sow seeds, destruction, snarling, compose email

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina the tech writer sits at her computer. Tina writes, "To: All Engineers. From: Tina the Tech Writer." Tina grimaces. Tina writes, "Give me the information I requested, or sow the seeds of your own destruction!" Tina thinks, "One should never compose e-mail while one is snarling."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags elbonia, class in cobol, learn on plane, scuba lessons

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at his computer. The Boss stands in the doorway of his cubicle. The boss says, "I'm sending you to Elbonia to teach a class in cobol." Dilbert says, "I don't know cobol." The boss says, "Maybe you can learn it on the plane." Dilbert glares at the Boss over the wall of his cubicle. The Boss walks away. Dilbert says, "Maybe I'll take some scuba lessons up there too." The Boss thinks, "I'm making my getaway."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags catbert the hr director, groom for management, bugs in fur, lick head, can't be manager

View Transcript

Transcript

Caption: Catbert the H.R. Director. Asok the intern sits at his computer. Catbert stands on Asok's desk. Catbert says, "Asok, it's time to groom you for management." Catbert looks through Asok's hair. Catbert says, "I don't see too many bugs in your fur. Can you lick the top of your own head?" Asok frowns. Asok says, "No, I can't." Catbert says, "Then you can't be a manager."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Catbert, hr director, not allowed, eat desk, semi plausible reason, hate

View Transcript

Transcript

Caption: Catbert: H.R. Director. Catbert sits at his computer. Catbert types, "New policy: Employees are not allowed to eat at their desks." Catbert thinks, "Because why? I need a semi-plausible reason." Catbert writes, "Because I hate you."