Using Deception Comic Strips - Page 37

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

411 Results for Using Deception

View 361 - 370 results for using deception comic strips. Discover the best "Using Deception" comics from Dilbert.com.

Wally Is Working If You Don't See Him

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Is Working If You Don't See Him - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #laziness, #deception, #invisibility, #work ethic

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: How's your stealth clothing project coming along? Wally: Great. I'm usually testing the prototype in the office. That's why you rarely see me working. Boss: So... the less I see you work, the more successful you must be? Wally: It's just common sense.

Boss Is Like A Zombie With No App

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Is Like A Zombie With No App  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #mind control, #technology, #invention, #zombie

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Thanks to my new neural interface, I can control our boss using an app. I haven't written the app yet, so all he does is sit there like a zombie. Wally: Maybe we can skip the app. Alice: There's no reason to over-engineer it.

Wally Works On Stealth Clothing

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Works On Stealth Clothing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #invisibility, #attendance, #deception, #laziness

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We won a bid to design stealth clothing for the military. Wally: Ooh! Ooh! I volunteer to work on that project. Boss: Um... okay. Narrator: One month later. Boss: Your attendance has been poor lately. Wally: Here's where I teach you about "reasonable doubt."

Animal Testing Is Done

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 Animal Testing Is Done - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #app, #technology, #addiction, #morals, #big business, #ethics

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: The animal testing for our app is done. The app is so addictive that Zimbu the monkey was hospitalized for starvation while using it. I think we all know what we need to do. Boss: Submit it to the app store?

Sunk Costs

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Sunk Costs - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #money, #big business, #logic, #loss, #deception

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: The economics of the project have changed. We need to shut it down. Boss: If we stop now, the $10 million we already spent will be wasted. Dilbert: And if we stop later? Boss: The trick is to never finish the project.

Wally Finds Critical Bug

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Finds Critical Bug - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #big business, #bug, #deception, #insider trading, #stock, #trick

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I found a critical bug in our software that could make our product worthless in a week. If you give me a huge raise, I won't tell anyone about the problem until you sell all of your company stock. Boss: Deal! Narrator: Two weeks later. Boss: Why haven't I heard about the bug yet? Wally: You didn't ask me if I knew how to fix it.

Wally Pivots

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Pivots - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #work ethic, #laziness, #deception, #projects

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: My project was failing, so I pivoted to a different idea with the same name. Later, I'll change the project name to cover my tracks. Asok: What about your sunk costs? Wally: Gone like footprints in the sands of time.

Bad Analogies

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Bad Analogies - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ideas, #criticism, #critique, #simile, #language

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: Your idea is awful. Dilbert: Can you explain your reasons without using an absurd analogy? Man: It's like a pregnant squirrel eating a sandwich. Dilbert: I'll take that as a no.

Wally Maintains The Network

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Maintains The Network  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #information, #spying, #surviellance, #blackmail, #extortion

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Wally, your performance is terrible. You're fired. Wally: Are you aware that every message you have ever sent using company devices is archived on a network you assigned me to maintain? Boss: Is that a threat? Wally: I also archive your web searches.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #training, #frustration, #wasting time

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: Thank you all for coming to this mandatory class on using the new system. The new system installation is behind schedule, so I'll train you using the old system. Dilbert: we know how to use the old system. Man: I'll point out how the new system is different as we go. Dilbert: Is the new system a lot like the old system? Man: No. Totally different. Dilbert: This is the worst idea I've ever heard. Man: Here are some handouts from the old system's operating guide. Dilbert: This is the Japanese language part of the manual. Man: Are you going to complain about everything?