World Class Invenotr Comic Strips - Page 37

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

399 Results for World Class Invenotr

View 361 - 370 results for world class invenotr comic strips. Discover the best "World Class Invenotr" comics from Dilbert.com.

Seventeen Hour Flight To Elbonia

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Seventeen Hour Flight To Elbonia - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #fair, #comfort, #flying, #money, #budget, #cost, #selfish

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: The flight to Elbonia is seventeen hours. Can I fly business class? Boss: No, because your pain will be temporary, but I won't get my bonus if I go over budget. Try being a team player for once. Dilbert: I didn't know Satan had a team.

Groomed For Management

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Groomed For Management - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #back-stabbing, #management, #betrayal, #double cross

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: My boss is trying to groom me for management. How can I get out of it? Wally: Tell him that as soon as you are sufficiently groomed you will stab him in the back and take his job. Dilbert: ...and then I'll take your job. Boss: I'm moving you to the advanced management class.

Actual Company Policy

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Actual Company Policy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #complaining, #management, #manipulation, #strategy, #vacation, #training, #company policy

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I can't approve your vacation days because you haven't completed the mandatory class on fax machine safety. Dilbert: Is that an actual company policy? Boss: I don't know, but it sounds like one. Dilbert: Maybe we should check. Boss: Wow. Is there anything you DON'T complain about?

Can't Take Vacation

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Can't Take Vacation - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #company policy, #catch-22, #rules, #exception

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Our policy says I can't take my vacation until I complete all of my mandatory training. I can't take the fax safety class because it no longer exists. Can you make a policy exception for me? Boss: Okay, I won't force you to take a vacation.

Nothing Dilbert Does Matters

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Nothing Dilbert Does Matters - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #motivation, #accomplishment, #meaning, #meaningless

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I completed my assignment, and yet I feel no sense of accomplishment. Could it be because nothing I do makes any difference in the world? Boss: I was going to tell you that, but I didn't want to demotivate you.

Logical Reasons For Learning To Negotiate

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Logical Reasons For Learning To Negotiate  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #negotiating, #persuasion, #catch-22, #argument

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I can't persuade my boss to let me take a class on how to negotiate. Asok: Try giving him logical reasons. He'll respond to that. Dilbert: And then I would be able to negotiate for a higher salary. Boss: Pass.

Being Ineffective

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Being Ineffective  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #negotiating, #haggle, #training, #conference, #skills

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Why are we paying so much for this software? Dilbert: Because you didn't let me take a class on negotiating like I asked. Boss: Are you using this as leverage to get approval for the class? Dilbert: No, I'm just being ineffective. Does it look the same?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #team, #teamwork, #team building, #death, #cover-up, #denial, #human resources, #drowning, #rafting, #business, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: As you know, our team-building event did not go smoothly. In my defense, I had no way of knowing a class 6 whitewater adventure would be so bumpy. It took me by surprise when Ted fell in. But I'm proud that we came together as a team and agreed to not look for him. It would have ruined our timing for lunch. Anyway, I'm sure Ted swam to safety. Dilbert: Ted doesn't know how to swim. Boss: All in favor of pretending Ted didn't attend the event? Catbert: They didn't have life vests? Boss: You're thinking of the deluxe package.

Arguing On Twitter With Facts

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Arguing On Twitter With Facts - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #trolling, #troll, #social media, #argument, #logic, #reason, #arguing, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Watch me win this debate on Twitter by providing facts and logic. Now we wait for everyone in the world to change their minds. Dilbert: How's the first minute going? Boss: What is wrong with these monsters?!!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #antisocial, #goals, #achievement, #aspirations, #frustration, #reality

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: Wally, do you have goals? Wally: My goal is to be an Olympic pole vaulter. Tina: You don't look... Wally: Sporty? Tina: I was going to say healthy. Wally: That's why Olympic pole vaulting is my goal> I wouldn't need a goal to do something easy. Tina: Are you training for it? Wally: No. Tina: You're living in a fantasy world! You'll never get to the Olympics! I can't sit here and listen to this. Dilbert: Looks like you accomplished your goal. Wally: Thanks for noticing.