2020 Comic Strips - Page 37

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Can't Tell When He Is Joking

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Can't Tell When He Is Joking - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, joking, managers & supervisors, sarcasm, technology, employment, moon lighting, work, video conference

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dilbert, boss and asok in front of laptop on video conference call. voice from laptop: excuse me. i have to take a call from one of the other employers who also believes i work for them full time from home. boss to dilbert: i can't tell when he's joking. dilbert: that's probably for the best.

Dogbert The Watcher

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Dogbert The Watcher - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags work from home, bribe, home, nap, efficient, employer, employment, wiser, unethical

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dilbert at home. dilbert: i did more work from home today before 10 a.m. than i could do in the office all day. i could take a nap for the rest of the day, and no one would be the wiser. dogbert: your employer pays me to watch you at home, but i wouldn't say no to a well-considered bribe. dilbert: i can work with that.

Stapler Training

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Stapler Training  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, training, planning, meeting, stapler, safety, mandatory, fight

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boss: dilbert, what have you accomplished since our planning meeting? dilbert: the planning meeting was this morning. all i've done since then is take a mandatory training class on stapler safety. boss: but now you're fresh and ready for the fight? dilbert: only if it's a stapler fight.

Microwaving Fish

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Microwaving Fish - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, microwave, fish, working from home, smell, rotting, corpse, cubicle

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boss on phone. boss: asok, you need to stop microwaving fish. i can't work with that smell in the air. asok on phone: i'm working from home. maybe you should check the cubicles for a rotting corpse. boss walking and thinking: maybe i'll let the janitor do that.

Important Context

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Important Context - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, communication, office, office workers, sarcasm, question, answer, context, rude, interrupt

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alice: why are you looking at your phone while i'm answering your question? dilbert: because our answer has nothing to do with my question, but i didn't want to be rude and interrupt you. alice: i'm giving important context. dilbert: text me when that part is done.

Dogbert The Auditor

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Dogbert The Auditor - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, business ethics, consultant, company, fee, fraud, crime, report, question

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dogbert: for a reasonable fee, i will audit your company and find any fraud or crime if it exists. dilbert: what's to stop you from taking bribes from the fraudsters and reporting that everything is fine? dogbert: my business model depends on you not asking that kind of question.