Bearded Guy Comic Strips - Page 37
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371 Results for Bearded Guy
View 361 - 370 results for bearded guy comic strips. Discover the best "Bearded Guy" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday December 24,
2017
Tags #military, #office workers, #survival, #hero
Transcript
Boss: This is our new employee, Mark. Mark was a navy SEAL. He fought in three separate conflicts. He once fought off a hundred insurgents and saved a town. Show Mark how we roll at this company. Dilbert: Today I'll be reformatting my PowerPoint deck because someone said the design is not organic. Mark: What's that mean? Dilbert: It doesn't matter. I'll just push some things around and hope the guy who complained doesn't attend the next meeting. Mark: How do you survive this place? Dilbert: I don't like to use the word "hero."
Monday January 15,
2018
Success Diminishes Other Guy
Tags #ideas, #diminshed, #support, #stab me, #great deas, #discussion, #argument
Transcript
Ted: Your idea is great, but I plan to oppose it because I feel diminished by the success of others. Dilbert: Maybe you could support it now and then stab me in the back later. Ted: That's two great ideas you've had today. Dilbert: thank you.
Thursday March 08,
2018
Alice Mentors The New Guy
Monday June 25,
2018
Feedback From Twitter Guy
Tags #feedback, #criticism, #social media, #twitter, #tweet, #troll, #technology
Transcript
Dilbert: Do you have any feedback on my idea? Man: Yes. You're weak and stupid, and everyone you love will end up in jail. Dilbert: Do you spend a lot of time on Twitter? Man: Is that a lucky guess or are you spying on me?
Sunday October 21,
2018
Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #test, #scripts, #software, #project, #hardware, #tests, #version, #final, #release, #volunteering, #testing, #player
Transcript
The Boss: I need someone to run some test scripts on the new software. Dilbert: I can do that my project is on hold until the new hardware arrives. The Boss: Great, I'll need you to run the same tests on every version until final release. Dilbert: Um... I was only volunteering to do it once it isn't my job to do all the testing. The Boss: Too late. You're the test script guy now. Dilbert: You're adding an entirely new job to my existing job! The Boss: Don't you want to be a team player? Dilbert: Of course I do. The Boss: Good. I just put you on the losing team.
Sunday February 10,
2019
Tags #avoidance, #irritation, #lunch, #office workers, #relationships, #coworkers
Transcript
Tina: You should meet the new guy in marketing. You two would get along great. I'll set up a lunch. Dilbert: Why? Tina: Because he reminds me of you. Dilbert:That isn't a reason. Tina: Okay, he is free tomorrow for lunch. I'll tell him to meet you in the lobby. Dilbert: I still don't see why the three of us need to go to lunch. Tina: It's just the two of you. I'm busy tomorrow. Man: I hear you're a lot like me. Dilbert: Sadly, yes.
Wednesday July 10,
2019
Ai That Creates Comics
Tags #Comic Strip, #inventions, #sarcasm, #technology, #creativity
Transcript
Dilbert: I invented an A.I. that can create comic strips. Boss: Pffft! That's impossible. No machine will ever match the creative genius of human cartoonists. Dilbert: This one is about a guy who thinks his boss is dumb. Boss: No one wants to read that.
Saturday July 27,
2019
The Opinionated Old Guy
Tags #business, #employees, #internet & world wide web, #old, #Opinion
Transcript
the opinionated old guy: that idea will never work! unless you know some kind of "magic" that sends data through the air. dilbert: i call it wi-fi. opinionated old guy: pffft! no one wants that.
Tuesday August 13,
2019
Hiring A Bad Analogy Guy
Tags #office, #office workers, #questions, #sarcasm, #arrogance
Transcript
Boss: I hired a bad analogy guy. Instead of giving reasons for his opinions, he asks ridiculous questions while acting arrogant. Dilbert: That doesn't seem useful. Man: Would you say that about oxygen?
Wednesday August 14,
2019
Bad Analogy Guy Fits In
Tags #employees, #insults, #office, #office workers, #sarcasm
Transcript
Man: Hi. I'm the bad analogy guy. I can't tell the difference between thinking and simply being reminded of unrelated things. Wally: You'll fit in well here. Man: You dress like a liar.