Employee Comic Strips - Page 37
Search Filters
Year
- 2023
- 2022
- 2021
- 2020
- 2019
- 2018
- 2017
- 2016
- 2015
- 2014
- 2013
- 2012
- 2011
- 2010
- 2009
- 2008
- 2007
- 2006
- 2005
- 2004
- 2003
- 2002
- 2001
- 2000
- 1999
- 1998
- 1997
- 1996
- 1995
- 1994
- 1993
- 1992
- 1991
- 1990
- 1989
Character
515 Results for Employee
View 361 - 370 results for employee comic strips. Discover the best "Employee" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday August 15,
2013
Tags employees, medical equipment & supplies, biosensor, health, shallow breathing, monitor health, business
Transcript
Boss: Wear this biosensor so management can monitor your health during the day. Dilbert; Wow. I didn't know you cared so much about my health. Boss: Oh, I do. Catbert: Employee 479 doesn't have shallow breathing. You can give that one some more work.
Thursday August 22,
2013
Tags actors & actresses, contests, work ethic, academy award, convincing portrayl, dishonor, nominated
Transcript
Computer: Dear Wally, You have been nominated for an academy award... for your convincing portrayal of an employee who does actual work. Dilbert: Do you think you'll win? Wally: It's a dishonor just to be nominated.
Wednesday December 18,
2013
Tags avarice, Family, personal items, cubilces, photos of kids
Transcript
Boss: Is that a picture of your kids? No personal items are allowed in cubicles! Employee: It's not personal. My kids are only in it for the money. Boss: It's more of a gray are than you'd think.
Saturday February 01,
2014
Tags basket cases, bottom dollar, dysfunction, mentor, new hire, office equipment, office robot, human life, less important
Transcript
Boss: I need someone to mentor our new hire, but every one of you is dysfunctional. So I'm having our office robot do the mentoring. It can't be worse than you basket cases. Employee: So... human life is less important than office equipment? Robot: Far less. It's not even close.
Saturday February 22,
2014
Tags costumes, deception, employees, ordinary workers, new employee, best way, kill boss, kindness, strangling w intestines, business
Transcript
Boss: Hello, ordinary workers. I am a new employee just like you. Alice: We're discussing the best way to kill our boss. Boss; You could kill him with kindness. Alice: I'm leaning toward strangling him with his own intestines.
Monday February 24,
2014
Tags costumes, deception, downtrodden employee, awesome person in disguise, spider eggs, bosses coffee, survive, learned, knowledge is over rated
Transcript
Boss: Hello, downtrodden employee. I am one of you, and not an awesome person in disguise. Carol: I put spider eggs in my boss's coffee in the hope that some survive and burrow out of his body. Catbert: What have you learned so far? Boss: I learned that knowledge is overrated.
Monday March 17,
2014
Tags work ethic, brain wash, company profits, more imprtant, employers engagement, 12 hour days, work for money
Transcript
Catbert: I'm going to brainwash you to believe company profits are more important than your health. It's called "employee engagement," and it will make you work 12-hour days while thinking you enjoy every minute of it. Dilbert: Can I just work for money? Catbert: Why are you being a jerk about this?
Thursday March 20,
2014
Tags employees, work ethic, managers should hire, clear expectations, micromanaging, employee engement, business
Transcript
Boss: Experts say managers should hire great people and set clear expectations. They don't say what to do when you get the first part wrong, but I'm leaning toward micromanaging. Alice: My employee engagement just went down. Boss: That was never a real thing.
Friday April 04,
2014
Tags complaints, skunk opera, analogies, understand analogies, employees complain, office, cubicle, human relations
Transcript
Boss: Sheesh! It feels as if every employee is complaining about one thing or another today. Carol: Maybe it's because your leadership has turned this place into a skunk opera. Luckily, you don't understand analogies. Boss: That one is about singing.
Thursday April 10,
2014
Tags managers & supervisors, temporary ceo, c level suite, employee realtions, boss, cubicle, insulting, receptionist, business
Transcript
Boss: The board named me temporary CEO. And guess who is coming with me to the C-level suite! Carol: It's me! Boss: No. And you're also a terrible guesser.


