Employees Comic Strips - Page 37

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581 Results for Employees

View 361 - 370 results for employees comic strips. Discover the best "Employees" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags diseases, employees, frustration, new bad apple, joining project, full disclosure, totally contagious, immune, worms, business, medical

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Coworker: I'm the new bad apple. I'll be joining your project. In the interest of full disclosure, this is totally contagious. Wally: I'm immune, but not for reasons I'm proud of. Coworker: You must be Wally.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags cruelty, managers & supervisors, employment studies, good boss, getting riase, less dysfunctional, creepy dude, business

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Catbert: Studies say employees prefer having a good boss over getting a raise. So instead of giving raises, pretend to be less dysfunctional. It's cheaper. Bwahahahaha!!! Boss: You're a creepy little dude.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, thinking, twitter, witty tweets, power to destroy career, abusing employees, personal gain, business

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Boss: Carol, create a Twitter account under my name and send out witty tweets every day. Carol: Buwhahahaha! I hold in my hands the power to destroy your career and your reputation! Boss: Every now and then I question my strategy of abusing my employees for personal gain.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags cruelty, exhaustion / tiredness, workload, emailed assignments, extreme managing, killing employees

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Alice: We need to talk about my workload. Boss: Okay. I just emailed you two more assignments that I need finished by tomorrow. Alice: You are literally killing me. Boss: I call it extreme managing.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags discussion, frustration, deliverable deadline, proactive, opposite of proactive, empowered employees, bad morale, big bungler, open door policy

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Wally: I decided to be proactive and push back my deliverable deadline by a year. Boss: That' snot being proactive. That's the opposite of proactive! Wally: You said you want employees to be empowered and now you're criticizing my decision. That's just great. Now my morale is bad, too! I can't be proactive. I can't be empowered. And now I can't even be happy! You've bungled everything! You're a big bungler! Boss: Get out of my office. Wally: Well, say goodbye to the open-door policy!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags happiness, questioning, employees are happiest, jobs give meaning, sense of meaning, bag of organ meat, draped over, electric fence, psychology

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Dilbert: I read an article that says employees are happiest when their jobs give them a sense of meaning. What is this "sense of meaning" thing and how can I get some of it? Because I feel like a bag of organ meat draped over an electric fence. Boss: Almost the same thing.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags ignorance (knowledge), managers & supervisors, values, don't run with scissors, ask for raises, employee values, business

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CEO: Experts say we need to empower employees with "values." So I guess we need some values, whatever the heck those are. Boss: I think it's like "Don't run with scissors." CEO: Let's start with that and see if they stop asking for raises.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags suspicion, high level of trust, employees, performance, scam, business

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Dilbert: Studies show that companies with a high level of trust in employees also perform the best. Boss: If you ever start performing well, I'll trust you, too. Dilbert: This didn't go the way I hoped. Boss: What kind of scam are you trying to pull?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags ignorance (knowledge), managers & supervisors, work ethic, wifi enabled, bus, commute from san fransico, business

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Dilbert: Google provides a wi-fi enabled bus for its employees to commute from San Francisco. Why can't we be more like that? Boss: You want to be more like a bus? Dilbert: I found the problem.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags anger, employees, violence, contradcited, meeting, fist of death, robots, no legal rights, cardio, oiled my pan, business

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Alice: You contradicted me in a meeting today and I didn't appreciate it. I'm no allowed to use my fist of death on humans, but you robots have no legal rights. It's not personal. This is how I get my cardio. Robot: I just oiled my pan.