Human Resources Comic Strips - Page 37
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379 Results for Human Resources
View 361 - 370 results for human resources comic strips. Discover the best "Human Resources" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday May 18,
2020
Makeup Under Mask
Tags makeup, masks, offended, office workers, pandemic, human resources
Transcript
Dilbert: Do you wear makeup under the mask where no one can see it? Or do you leave your snout area all pale and pimply? Tina: Stop imagining me unmasked. Dilbert: I'll report myself to human resources.
Sunday May 31,
2020
One Source Of Stress
Tags business, work at home, human, contact, stress, co-workers, bored, print, money
Transcript
dilbert thinking: i've had no human contact for months. i wasn't expecting to enjoy it so much. my love life was already a barren wasteland. and avoiding my co-workers is always good. i haven't been stressed, tired, or bored in weeks. i only have one remaining source of stress in my life. dilbert sitting on couch with dogbert dogbert: i'm printing money in the basement. dilbert: there it is.
Thursday June 25,
2020
Getting Opinions
Tags office workers, technology, input, dumb, human, universe, Opinion, strategy, worse
Transcript
boss: get ted's input before you finalize the plan. dilbert: ted is the dumbest human being in the known universe. his opinion can only make things worse. boss: that's how we do it here. dilbert: i didn't realize it was a strategy.
Sunday August 16,
2020
Humans Making Decisions
Tags biases, business, data, decision, guessing, human nature, making, primitive, psychology, reason, sarcasm, superstitions, technology, science
Transcript
dilbert: when humans were primitive and dumb, they used their superstitions and biases to make decisions. eventually, science won out, and we evolved to use data and reason to make decisions. dogbert: how'd that work out? dilbert: not so good. it turns out that all of our data are unreliable and conflicting. and we don't have the mental capacity to use reason. dogbert: it's still better than guessing. dilbert: how do you know that? dogbert: you are hard to talk to.
Thursday September 10,
2020
Artificial Dumbness
Tags business, cell phone, managers & supervisors, technology, software, invention, artificial, dumb, human, face mask
Transcript
dilbert: my new software invention is called "artificial dumbness." it acts dumb so humans will think they are talking to one of their own. boss: that couldn't possibly work. dilbert's phone echos: that couldn't possibly work.
Monday October 12,
2020
People Enjoy Context
Tags managers & supervisors, video conference, zoom, customer, self, human, sarcasm, face mask
Transcript
boss: when you schedule the zoom call with the customer, be sure to include me. dilbert: do you plan to use up all of our time talking about yourself? boss: people enjoy context. dilbert: it's as if you have never met a human.
Saturday October 24,
2020
Lover Not A Fighter
Tags business, technology, software, price, lover, fighter, report, human resources, bully, sexual discrimination
Transcript
dilbert: i'd fight with you on the price of this software, but i'm more of a lover than a fighter. female software vendor: are you hitting on me? you'd better buy my software now, or i'll report you to your own human resources. dilbert: okay. okay. i'll do anything you want. female software vendor: wow. you were right when you said you're not a fighter.
Sunday January 10,
2021
Recurring Charges
Tags business, technology, cancel, online, charges, information, automated phone system, contact, website, microphone
Transcript
dilbert at home: i'm going to try to cancel some recurring online charges today. wish me luck. dogbert: what resistance are you expecting? dilbert: obviously, they hide their contact information, so i allocated two hours to find the right phone number. it should take about an hour to navigate their automated phone system that will keep sending me to the wrong place. if i reach a human, he'll try to divert me to their website to cancel, which i already know won't work because... ...i won't be able to find my account in their system for reasons no one will ever be able to explain. and of course, their phone support person will be using a headset microphone that garbles his already mumbled words. dogbert: but if you stick with it, you will eventually succeed? dilbert: i don't know were you got that idea.
Saturday January 23,
2021
Robot Calls
Tags business, technology, robot, intelligence, human, indistinguishable, Number, recognize, rule, earth
Transcript
voice coming from phone: as soon as robot intelligence is indistinguishable from home, the robots will rule the earth! dilbert: i don't recognize this number. who are you? please don't say a robot. voice: let's just say only one of us will rot.
Wednesday February 17,
2021
Worth Praising
Tags managers & supervisors, sarcasm, business, human relations, positive, reinforcement, praise worthy, praise, leader, first
Transcript
wally: you never give me any positive reinforcement. boss: first you have to do something worth praising. wally: you can't call yourself a leader if you make me go first.


