Job Comic Strips - Page 37

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

936 Results for Job

View 361 - 370 results for job comic strips. Discover the best "Job" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags complaints, badering manager, deciosn on issue, emails phonecalls, insist on the job, overpaid

View Transcript

Transcript

I've received some complaints that you've been badgering the managers. "Hmm...badgering you say." "Let me see if I understdnd this "badgering" concept." "Let's say that I need a manager's decision on a critical issue..." "And the manager in question ignores my e-mails and phone calls..." "shouldn't I insist that this manager do the job for which he is overpaid?!!!" "Huh? Shouldn't I? What do you say? Huh? Huh? How about it? Huh?" "I'll say I talked to her."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags employee orientation, where to start, busy, back, stress, website, technology

View Transcript

Transcript

First Day on the Job "Employee orientation was great! Now where do you want me to start!" "I'm kind of busy. Maybe you could look at our Web site and guess what you should be doing." "Gaaa!!! What happened to my back???" "Stress, you get used to it."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags balancing work life, job anger, destablizie, crush urges, punch something, will want kids

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I'm having trouble balancing my work life and my personal life. How do you do it? Alice: "I use job anger to destabilize my hormonal blaance and crush any competing urges." "That reminds me I need to punch something today or I'll want to have kids."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags freeze n expenses, freeware version, readily available, coffee sipping, noises

View Transcript

Transcript

I couldn't buy the software I need to do my job because of your freeze on expenses. "And our I.S. policy says I can't use the freeware version that is readily available." "So I used the week to develop some new coffee-sipping noises."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags resources, do job, how now, brown cow

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: "I don't have enough resources to do my job." The Boss: "Isn't that like saying, "How now brown cow"?" Dilbert: "You think things can't get worse, but they can."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags paying for consulting, no recommendations, feel secure, shaping strategies, hate you, feel good

View Transcript

Transcript

"I keep paying you for consulting, but you never make any recommendations." "I'm what you call a "feel good."" "My job is to make you feel secure in the knowledge that someone brilliant is shaping your strategies." "This is weird; I hate you, but at the same time I feel good." "You're welcome."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags my hat, can't see, perfect for job, reverse psychology, potentail jumpers

View Transcript

Transcript

"I understand that you have an opening for a negotiator who deals with potential jumpers." "I can't see you because my hat is in the way, but you sound perfect for the job." "Your reverse psychology didn't work." "What reverse psychology?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags stealth layoff, evil director, human resources, worthless employees, job no longer exists, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources "I call it a stealth layoff." "We move all of the worthless employees to the same project. When it's done, we tell them that their jobs no longer exist." "I don't like the look of this."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags new director, wist decision support, out source contracts, north elbonia, government reward

View Transcript

Transcript

"My job could not be more meaningless." "I'm looking at my new Director of Post-Decision Support!" "After I make a decision, your job is to figure out why it was the right one." "Save those tears of joy for later. We've got work to do!" "SOB!" "I decided to outsource our nuclear contracts to North Elbonia." "And in return, they'll give us food, if they ever figure out how to grow any." "I expect some fallout from this decision." "Me too." "On the plus side, it won't be long before there's a government reward for killing him."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags employees, the boss, asok, projects, new, challenge, tina, write, newsletter, worthless, assistant

View Transcript

Transcript

I have completed all of my projects and I am ready for a new challenge. "You can help Tina write the department newsletter." "But the newsletter job is only given to the most worthless employee." "And her assistant."