Plan Comic Strips - Page 37
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Character
518 Results for Plan
View 361 - 370 results for plan comic strips. Discover the best "Plan" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday July 14,
2012
Tags banking, deposit, bank, waste it, hedging strategies, honesty is refreshing, money
Transcript
Bank Teller: Thanks for the deposit, sucker! We plan to waste it on complicated hedging strategies that we don't even understand. Dilbert: Your honesty is refreshing. Bank Teller: Thanks, but it makes cross-selling harder.
Monday July 16,
2012
Tags flip house, foreclosed, mold, red flags, residential buildings, squatters, urine
Transcript
Boss: I bought a foreclosed house for $500. I plan to flip it for profit. Dilbert: Did the disclosures have any red flags? Boss: They claim there's a lot of mold and enexploded ordnance. But I don't see how either of those things could have survived the urine from the crack squatters.
Monday July 23,
2012
Tags secretaries (office), increase work productivity, yammering, salted earth, great plan
Transcript
Boss: I just thought of a great idea for increasing workplace productivity. Carol: Does it involve standing near my workplace and yammering while I try to work? Boss: Geez. Who salted the Earth? Carol: Your plan is going great so far.
Friday August 31,
2012
Tags career plan, daughter, trophy wife, blind guy, visual, performing arts
Transcript
The Boss: Alice, This is my daughter. Her career plan is to become a trophy wife for a blind guy. Daughter: And by that he means he's not happy that Im majoring in visual and performing arts. Alice: Im having a real hard time choosing sides on this one.
Tuesday September 04,
2012
Tags computer software, managers & supervisors, budget, work monitoring software, calendar, year 2040, square boxes, business
Transcript
Boss: I don't have a budget for the network monitoring software you need, so you'll have to write it yourself. Dilbert: Good plan. I'll check back with you when I'm done doing that. What's your calendar look like in the year 2040? Boss: Sort of a grid with square boxes.
Saturday September 15,
2012
Tags celebrities, wealth, money manager, dumb celebrities, pay close attention, money invested, protect money, money
Transcript
Dogbert: I've decided to become a money manager for dumb celebrities. Celebrities don't pay close attention to where their money is invested, or who is stealing it. Dilbert: So you plan to help them protect their money? Dogbert: That would be one way to play it.
Thursday September 27,
2012
Tags internet & world wide web, web traffic, blatant honesty, money, negotiations, various things, vague stuff, vagueness
Transcript
Social media expert Consultant: If you give me lots of money, I will do various vague things to increase your web traffic. Boss: Wow! I would have been happy with just various things, but that vague stuff sounds great too! Dilbert: And now he's my responsibility? Boss: Don't screw up his vagueness plan because I think it can work.
Monday October 01,
2012
Tags candy, children, engineers, big companies, good engineering, skulk around schoolyards, nerdy loners, offer candy, Family
Transcript
Boss: The big companies are hiring all of the good engineering students as soon as they graduate. We need to start earlier. I want you to skulk around school yards and try to form relationships with kids who are nerdy loners. Offer them candy. Kids love candy. Dilbert: I don't see how this plan could go wrong.
Thursday October 18,
2012
Tags capitalism, electronic mail, colorful opions, email, advertising plan, discoverable record, describing advertising, pinocchio doing backstroke
Transcript
Boss: Please stop using email to express your colorful opinions of our marketing campaign. We don't need a discoverable record of you describing our advertising plan as "Pinocchio doing the backstroke in Satan's septic tank." Remember that capitalism without deniability is the same as poverty. Dilbert: Eh?
Sunday October 28,
2012
Tags meetings, marketing plan, consumers, research is stupid, opposed to science, rational thinking, manifestaions, pendantic, semantics, stopped talking
Transcript
Boss: ... and that's our marketing plan for the coming year. Dilbert: Research shows that consumers reject this sort of approach. Boss: Research is stupid. Dilbert: Are you saying the studies on this particular topic are flawed? Or are you just generally opposed to science, rational thinking, and all manifestations of common sense. Boss: Stop being pedantic with your semantics. Catbert: Did you get buy-in? Boss: Yes, in the sense that they stopped talking.

