Ceo Comic Strips - Page 37

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627 Results for Ceo

View 361 - 370 results for CEO comic strips. Discover the best "Ceo" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business ethics, wealth, ceo, good job, 50 million dollar bonus, not motivated, bad genes, inequality, dosaprity, ceo and worker, unfair wages, crazy money, slave wages, more work, no rewards, money

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Carol: What does our CEO get if he does a good job? Boss: A fifty million dollar bonus. Carol: What do I get if I do a good job? Boss: More work. Carol: What's your best guess about why I'm not motivated? Boss: Bad genes.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags industry & manufacturing, manufacturing, more green, ac units, elastic bands, hats covered eyes, don't shoot messenger, elbonian, engineering

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Boss: We told our Elbonian factory to be more green, so they turned off their AC units. The heat caused the elastic bands in their hats to stretch until their eyes were covered. And that's why we'll miss our ship date. CEO: They say you shouldn't shoot the messenger, but no one warns you how much you'll want to.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business ethics, taxes, warren buffet, tax rate, subsidizing mansion, condescending, show appreciation, ceo, high tax, worker

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CEO: Warren Buffett says your tax rate is higher than mine. Thank you for subsidizing my mansion, I really appreciate it. A good leader always shows appreciation to his underlings.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags employees, executives, non giant situation, shoulders of giants, non giant, business

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CEO: As your CEO, if I have seen farther, it is only because I stood on the shoulders of giants. Plus whatever is going on over here. Dilbert: That's sort of a non-giant situation. Wally: And I haven't had shoulders since I was ten.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business ethics, illness, industrial sludge, drank, has tail, lower iq points, bright future, quality assurance, marketing, zip line guide, business

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Dilbert: He's been like this since our CEO made him drink a glass of our industrial sludge at a press conference. It looped a few points off his I.Q., but he's still has a bright future in quality assurance or maybe marketing. And with his new tail he'd be an awesome zip line guide.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags big business, business ethics, public speaking, spit take, industrial sludge, intern will drink

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CEO: I will prove our industrial sludge is safe by forcing an intern to drink a glass of it. Voice: That's stupid. We want to see you drink it yourself. CEO: See if you can reach that guy in the second row with a spit take.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags big business, business ethics, ceo needs underling, drink industrial sludge, risk of brain worms, drink himself

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Boss: Our CEO needs an underling to drink our industrial sludge at a press conference to prove it's safe. Asok: Um... is there some reason he doesn't do it himself? Boss: Yes, but I forget the details. It was something about the risk of brain worms.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags big business, meetings, succession plan, awesome and charismatic, replace you, bag of moss

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CEO: We need a succession plan. I'm so awesome and charismatic that the company would be in trouble if I were to leave. Alice: I wouldn't worry about it. It's not as if you invented anything. We could replace you with a bag of moss. Dilbert: He got quiet. Alice: See? Moss can totally do that.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags crimes, criminals, elbonian, minister of commerce, leave no eveidence, connects crime, bribe him, kill him

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CEO: I need you to bribe an Elbonian minister of commerce and leave no evidence that connects the crime to our company. Dogbert: The only way to do that is to bribe him and kill him at the same time. CEO: I did not think this through. Dogbert: And obviously I'll need to do you first.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags writing, writing materials, five technology plan, plan for ceo, pie chart

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Boss: I need you to put together a five-year technology plan for our CEO. Dilbert: Sure. How about "tomorrow will be the same as today, and next year will be all flying cars and whatnot." Boss: Word it up and put a bow on it. Dilbert: I'll add a pie chart for the sizzle.