Head Comic Strips - Page 37

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

578 Results for Head

View 361 - 370 results for head comic strips. Discover the best "Head" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags loud conversation, cubicle, goaway, pound head, strange noise, alice threatens

View Transcript

Transcript

A man and a woman stand outside Alice's cubicle. Alice says, "I hate to interrupt your loud conversation outside my cubicle . . ." Alice continues, "But it you don't go away, I'll pound your inconsiderate head so far into your torso that you have to drop your pants to say hello." Wally asks Dilbert, "Did you just hear a strange noise?" Dilbert says, "It sounded like, 'Melp! Melp!'" Nearby, a man's head protrudes from his pants.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags negotiate, telecommuting, ratbert illogical things, drains will, unproductive things, will to argue

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert approaches the Boss's desk and says, "I"m here to negotiate for more telecommuting days." Ratbert sits on Dilbert's head. Dilbert points to him and tells the Boss, "My negotiating strategy is to have Ratbert say such illogical things that it drains your will to argue." The Boss says, "You can't work at home because you might do unproductive things there." Ratbert says, "I've lost my will to argue."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags rather the consulatant, sit on head, play bulldozer, too much power

View Transcript

Transcript

Ratbert tells the Boss, "Now that you're under my spell, I'd like to sit on your head and play bulldozer." The Boss stares straight ahead and holds his arms out. Ratbert sits on the Boss's head and pulls on his hair. He says, "Make some engine noises with your lips!" Ratbert laughs as the Boss makes noises. Alice asks Dilbert and Wally, "Do you think our consultant has too much power?" Dilbert replies, "Nah. He's barely moving that file cabinet."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Catbert, evil hr director, window cubicle, naps, on walls head

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert peers into Wally's cubicle and says, "Hey, Wally, I pulled some strings to get you moved to a window cubicle." Catbert continues, "It's for my own benefit. I plan to take naps while lying in the sun on top of your head." Catbert sleeps on Wally's head. Wally says, "Every day this job teaches me I can get used to anything."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags unpaid overtime, immoral, quality of life, designed stockholder value, human resources, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert sits on his desk. Alice says to him, "The mandatory upaid overtime is immoral. It's destroying the quality of my life." Catbert replies, "Alice, Alice, Alice . . . Companies are designed to maximize stockholder value, not employee happiness." Alice says, "Maybe the head of Human Resources should be a human." Catbert replies, "Privately I refer to myself as the Director of Disgruntled Cat Toys."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags ask applicants sone questions, see how think, five gallon, bucket, holds water, job interview

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at a table with a man. Dilbert says, "We like to ask our applicants some questions that will allow us to see how you think." Dilbert asks, "If you have a five-gallon bucket and a fifty-gallon bucket, how can you tell which one holds more water?" The man beats his head with his fists and says, "Ow! Ow! Ow!" Dilbert says, "When I said, 'See how you think,' what I meant was . . ."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags chocolate bar, smell, wallet, impatience

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands in line at a cash register. He thinks, "Mmm . . . Soon you will be mine, little chocolate bar." The customer ahead of him says, "I think I have exact change." Dilbert smells the candy bar and thinks, "I can smell it through the wrapper." The woman reaches into her purse and says, "Here's a nickel." Dilbert thinks, "I rub it on my arm to get the total body experience." The woman looks into her pocketbook and says, "No, that's a breath mint." Dilbert holds the candy bar over his head and thinks, "I am transported to another dimension." The woman says, "Ooh, a roll of pennies . . . No, lipstick." Dilbert looks at the woman as she says, "I'll give you a check. Where's that checkbook?" Dilbert snatches the woman's purse. Dilbert stomps on the purse while the woman watches. Dilbert stands in front of the counter and says, "What a funny day to forget my wallet." The woman clenches her teeth and looks angry.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags technology allaince, small silicon startup, corporate culture, different, pierced brain, mister conservative

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands in front of the Boss's desk. The Boss says, "You'll head our technology alliance with a small Silicon Valley start-up." The Boss continues, "Their corporate culture is a bit different from ours. Try to be flexible." Dilbert and a man with a goatee and a ring through his head sit at a conference table. Dilbert opens his briefcase and says, "I've never seen a pierced brain before." The man puts his bare feet on the table and says, "I think I'll call you 'Mister Conservative.'"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags year 2000 problkems, computer problems, head spun, dint explode, left money, table

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands on the Boss's desk and says, "Here's my invoice for fixing your 'Year 2000' computer problems." The Boss screams so loud that Dogbert is thrown from the office. Back at home, Dilbert sits on the couch and Dogbert sits on the armrest. Dilbert says, ". . . So his head spun, but it DIDN'T explode?" Dogbert replies, "Yeah. I guess I left some money on the table."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Catbert, cubicle plan, densification project, dignity, evil director, human resources, lower morale, patented head cubicle, recycled, business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, Catbert, Wally, Dilbert and Alice sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "Mr. Catbert, our evil director of human resources, will describe our new cubicle plan." Catbert says, "Last year we reduced the size of cubicles in the densification project." Catbert continues, "We didn't save much money, but we did lower morale." Catbert continues, "This year we'll build on that success . . ." Catbert holds a square box and says, "With the patented 'Head Cubicle.'" Catbert lifts the Head Cubicle and says, "Hold still, Wally." Catbert says, "And the head cubicle can be recycled after you're downsized!" The cubicle covers Wally's head. Dilbert, Alice and Wally wear the cubicles on their heads. Alice says, "We really need to draw the line at some point." Dilbert adds, "While we still have our dignity."