How To Comic Strips - Page 37

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for How To

View 361 - 370 results for how-to comic strips. Discover the best "How To" comics from Dilbert.com.

Too Dumb To Understand

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Too Dumb To Understand - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags intelligence, perspective, dumb, social media, comment, technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I can't believe how stupid this person is. Dilbert: How do you rule out the hypothesis that you're too dumb to understand his point? Take your time. I can wait. Boss: For starters, he disagrees with me.

Dilbert Fits It All In One Slide

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Fits It All In One Slide - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags irrational, demands, managers, powerpoint, nonsense

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: It took me a hours to figure out how to fit everything you wanted into one slide. Boss: That's great. Now add in some stuff about the budget, our risks, and all of our competition. And keep it all on one slide. Dilbert: Have you ever listened to the noise coming from your mouth?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags technology, learning, education, tutorial, frustration

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I love living in a world where everything I need to know is on the Internet. I'll just hop over to YouTube and learn how to use my new app. Perfect! I can choose from over a hundred different tutorials! It will only take me an hour or so to figure out which one refers to my version of the software. Narrator: One hour later. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! These videos are poorly labeled! Narrator: Two hours later. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! This guy talks too slowly! Get to the point! Narrator: Three hours later. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! Why are my menu options different from the tutorial? I hate living in a world where everything I need to know is on the Internet.

How Conversations Work

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
How Conversations Work - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags antisocial, conversation, distraction, phone, social, technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: The weather will be good this weekend. Alice: Stop right there. Your proposed topic of conversation is far below the level of entertainment I can get from my phone. Dilbert: I don't know how conversations work. Dogbert: You're interrupting my phone time.

Twitter The Video Game

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Twitter The Video Game - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags twitter, social media, game, ignorance, trick, prank, technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Our sales dropped to zero after you offended customers on Twitter. Did someone tell you Twitter was a video game? Narrator: One week ago. Boss: And how would I kill these trolls? Wally: With your words.

Recommening A Friend

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Recommening A Friend - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags bribe, employee, hiring, money, referral, guest artist, jake tapper

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Do you have any friends with technical skills who you can recommend to work here? Wally: I don't have any friends, but if I did, why would I be so mean to them? Boss: You get a $1,000 bonus for referring a friend. Wally: How much for a gullible acquaintance?

When Wally Will Be Finished

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
When Wally Will Be Finished - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags laziness, work ethic, soon, deadline, procrastination, standoff

View Transcript

Transcript

Woman: Can you get that done by Friday? Wally: I'll get back to you on that. Woman: When will you get back to me? Wally: Soon. Woman: How soon? Wally: I can do this all day.

Tina's Office Romance Not A Secret

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Tina's Office Romance Not A Secret - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags secret, relationship, dating, clues, sleuting, loud, shouting, relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: How's your office romance with Loud Howard coming along? Tina: How did you hear about us? Alice: He's loud and you're always covered with his spittle. Tina: I was hoping it looked like perspiration.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags logic, false logic, imagination, managers, review, performance

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I can't give you a raise because your performance was only average. Dilbert: How can you calculate an average for my performance? No one has ever been in my exact situation. Boss: I compared you to other employees. Dilbert: You compared me to strangers doing entirely different things? Boss: No, I compared you to imaginary people doing your exact job. It's called managing, and I'm very good at it. Dilbert: How do you know you're good at it? Boss: Because imaginary people do this job worse than I do.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags election, voting, technology, fraud, cheating, vote, Politics

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We won a contract to write software for voting machines. Dilbert: Who do you want to be president? Boss: Why do you ask? Dilbert: Because I want you to be happy. Boss: You're implying that you plan to fudge the system. Dilbert: I'm not implying anything like that. Obviously, it will be easy to fudge the data, and we are far happier when you're in a good mood. But I would never commit a crime just because it is good for ma and totally undetectable. Boss: Okay, good. Dilbert: So who do you want to win and by how much?