How To Comic Strips - Page 37
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1000 Results for How To
View 361 - 370 results for how-to comic strips. Discover the best "How To" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday July 21,
2016
Too Dumb To Understand
Tags intelligence, perspective, dumb, social media, comment, technology
Transcript
Boss: I can't believe how stupid this person is. Dilbert: How do you rule out the hypothesis that you're too dumb to understand his point? Take your time. I can wait. Boss: For starters, he disagrees with me.
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Wednesday July 20,
2016
Dilbert Fits It All In One Slide
Tags irrational, demands, managers, powerpoint, nonsense
Transcript
Dilbert: It took me a hours to figure out how to fit everything you wanted into one slide. Boss: That's great. Now add in some stuff about the budget, our risks, and all of our competition. And keep it all on one slide. Dilbert: Have you ever listened to the noise coming from your mouth?
Sunday July 17,
2016
Tags technology, learning, education, tutorial, frustration
Transcript
Dilbert: I love living in a world where everything I need to know is on the Internet. I'll just hop over to YouTube and learn how to use my new app. Perfect! I can choose from over a hundred different tutorials! It will only take me an hour or so to figure out which one refers to my version of the software. Narrator: One hour later. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! These videos are poorly labeled! Narrator: Two hours later. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! This guy talks too slowly! Get to the point! Narrator: Three hours later. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! Why are my menu options different from the tutorial? I hate living in a world where everything I need to know is on the Internet.
Saturday July 16,
2016
How Conversations Work
Tags antisocial, conversation, distraction, phone, social, technology
Transcript
Dilbert: The weather will be good this weekend. Alice: Stop right there. Your proposed topic of conversation is far below the level of entertainment I can get from my phone. Dilbert: I don't know how conversations work. Dogbert: You're interrupting my phone time.
Tuesday June 14,
2016
Twitter The Video Game
Tags twitter, social media, game, ignorance, trick, prank, technology
Transcript
Dilbert: Our sales dropped to zero after you offended customers on Twitter. Did someone tell you Twitter was a video game? Narrator: One week ago. Boss: And how would I kill these trolls? Wally: With your words.
Wednesday May 25,
2016
Recommening A Friend
Tags bribe, employee, hiring, money, referral, guest artist, jake tapper
Transcript
Boss: Do you have any friends with technical skills who you can recommend to work here? Wally: I don't have any friends, but if I did, why would I be so mean to them? Boss: You get a $1,000 bonus for referring a friend. Wally: How much for a gullible acquaintance?
Wednesday May 18,
2016
When Wally Will Be Finished
Tags laziness, work ethic, soon, deadline, procrastination, standoff
Transcript
Woman: Can you get that done by Friday? Wally: I'll get back to you on that. Woman: When will you get back to me? Wally: Soon. Woman: How soon? Wally: I can do this all day.
Tuesday May 10,
2016
Tina's Office Romance Not A Secret
Tags secret, relationship, dating, clues, sleuting, loud, shouting, relationships
Transcript
Alice: How's your office romance with Loud Howard coming along? Tina: How did you hear about us? Alice: He's loud and you're always covered with his spittle. Tina: I was hoping it looked like perspiration.
Sunday May 08,
2016
Tags logic, false logic, imagination, managers, review, performance
Transcript
Boss: I can't give you a raise because your performance was only average. Dilbert: How can you calculate an average for my performance? No one has ever been in my exact situation. Boss: I compared you to other employees. Dilbert: You compared me to strangers doing entirely different things? Boss: No, I compared you to imaginary people doing your exact job. It's called managing, and I'm very good at it. Dilbert: How do you know you're good at it? Boss: Because imaginary people do this job worse than I do.
Sunday May 01,
2016
Tags election, voting, technology, fraud, cheating, vote, Politics
Transcript
Boss: We won a contract to write software for voting machines. Dilbert: Who do you want to be president? Boss: Why do you ask? Dilbert: Because I want you to be happy. Boss: You're implying that you plan to fudge the system. Dilbert: I'm not implying anything like that. Obviously, it will be easy to fudge the data, and we are far happier when you're in a good mood. But I would never commit a crime just because it is good for ma and totally undetectable. Boss: Okay, good. Dilbert: So who do you want to win and by how much?

