Office Politics Comic Strips - Page 37

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Office Politics

View 361 - 370 results for office politics comic strips. Discover the best "Office Politics" comics from Dilbert.com.

Very Smart Phd

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Very Smart Phd - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags education, intelligence, office workers, sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: Hi. I'm very smart, but I don't know how to do anything. Dilbert: Where did you get your PH.D.? Man: I didn't say I have a PH.D. Dilbert: You kinda did.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags annoyance, insults, office, office workers, people, sarcasm, introvert, coworkers

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: Sometimes it seems as if you don't like me. Dilbert: Don't be ridiculous. I'm just an introvert. Being around people drains my energy. I only avoid you because spending five minutes with you feels like being buried alive. With fleas instead of dirt. Tina: So...it isn't personal? Dilbert: I need a nap.

Why Didn't You Do It Sooner

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Why Didn't You Do It Sooner - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags criticism, managers & supervisors, motivation, office workers, problem

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I solved our server reliability problem. Boss: Why didn't you do it sooner? Dilbert: If you see my motivation anywhere, tell it I miss it.

Did Not Know About The Server

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Did Not Know About The Server - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags employees, excuses, irritation, managers & supervisors, office workers

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: It's been six months now and you still haven't fixed our server issue. Dilbert: I didn't know we had a server issue. Boss: That's no excuse. Dilbert: Actually, it's kind of a good excuse. Boss: Now you're making excuses for your excuses!

Sarcasm Empty Vessel

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Sarcasm Empty Vessel - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags jokes, office workers, sarcasm, millennial, smartphone

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: Wow, that's a great idea. Let's just do that! LOL! Dilbert: I've noticed that you are nothing but an empty vessel for transporting sarcasm. Man: Oooh! I'm such an empty vessel! LOL! Dilbert: I don't know what to do with all of this.

Hiring A Millennial

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Hiring A Millennial - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags employees, office workers, sarcasm, smartphone, generation, millennial

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I hired a millennial who was raised by smartphones. He won't make eye contact, and we don't expect him to ever mate. Dilbert: Can he speak? Boss: Yes, but only with sarcasm.

More Accurate Job Description

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
More Accurate Job Description - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags distraction, frustration, jobs, managers & supervisors, office workers, sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I updated my job description to be more accurate. Boss: "I try to do something and then I get interrupted a jillion times until the thing no longer matters." Sounds like you need some extra micro-managing. Dilbert: I have to take this call.

Job Is 98 Percent Interruption

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Job Is 98 Percent Interruption  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags distraction, engineering, frustrated, jobs, office workers, listen

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: My job is 2% work and 98% getting interrupted. I can't focus long enough to finish anything. Dilbert: Are you done? I'm trying to work. Alice: You're a bad listener.

Ai Keeps Owning The Boss

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ai Keeps Owning The Boss - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags argument, debates, irritation, office workers, robot, sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I keep getting into debates with the A.I. you built, and it refuses to admit I'm right. It keeps sending me links to articles on the wrong topic and claiming it "owned me". Dilbert: Please don't ask me to take sides. Boss: I need you to back me on this.

First Ai As Smart As Humans

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
First Ai As Smart As Humans - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags intelligence, invention, office workers, robot, technology, logic, conspiracy, humans

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I've created the first artificial intelligence that is as smart as a human being. The breakthrough came when I replaced its logic code with conspiracy theories, lies, emotional outbursts, and overconfidence. Asok: You have created an abomination. Robot: I find it curious that you take sides with the chem trails.