Ten Million Dollars Comic Strips - Page 37

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View 361 - 370 results for ten million dollars comic strips. Discover the best "Ten Million Dollars" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #patent, #budget, #raise

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Dilbert stands in front of the Boss's desk and says, "My patent will make fifty million dollars for the company, so I thought maybe you could afford to give me a raise." The Boss replies, "Unfortunately, the profit bucket is not connected to the budget bucket, so there's no money for a raise." Dilbert says, "I think some recognition of a job well-done is appropriate here." The Boss replies, "Thanks. It WAS one of my better excuses."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business ethics, #the boss, #Dilbert, #Wally, #business meeting

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The Boss, Dilbert and Wally sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "We can succeed if each of you will commit to giving 110 percent." Wally says, "That would be ten percent over the theoretical maximum." Dilbert adds, "Can't be done." Wally says, "Plus you have your vacation days and your sick days . . ." Dilbert continues, "Heck, these staff meetings take ten percent right off the top . . . Wally asks, "And what about all the times something unexpected comes up?" Wally says, "I think we could give you . . . What?" Dilbert says, "Forty-three percent." Wally adds, "And that's not a commitment." Dilbert says, "It's an estimate." The Boss asks, "Can we continue the meeting now?" Dilbert replies, "I'm over my estimate for today."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #collective, #nerd, #demand, #discounts, #wireless, #e-mail, #products, #daughter, #phone, #Number

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Dogbert sits across from a man's desk and says, "I am Dogbert, leader of Venod - a huge collective of nerds. We demand twenty percent discounts on all of your products." Dogbert continues, "If you refuse, I will send a wireless e-mail message that instructs one million nerds to stop buying your products." The executive asks, "You're kidding, right?" Dogbert says, "There - I just sent them your daughter's phone number."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #dollars, #chairty, #moral, #duty, #fortunate, #starving, #plenty, #money, #hobbies, #code, #eat, #morality, #charity

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Dilbert and Dogbert walk through the park. Dilbert says, "I gave five hundred dollars to charity this year." Dilbert continues, "I believe it's my moral duty to help those less fortunate." Dilbert lifts Dogbert onto a rock. Dogbert asks, "Five hundred dollars? What kind of morality is that?" Dogbert continues, "People are starving and you still have plenty of money left for your hobbies." Dogbert continues, "According to YOUR moral code it's more important for you to have a new computer than for poor people to eat." Dogbert continues, "Morality? Ha! You spent five hundred bucks to ease your own guilt!" Dilbert replies, "And it worked. I feel pretty good." Dilbert asks, "How much did YOU give to charity?" Dogbert replies, "A thousand. That's why I'm so torqued."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #athlete, #multimillion, #contract, #banned, #Sports, #drugs, #motivational, #speaker, #motivated, #illiterate

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Dogbert sits on a park bench with a large man. The man says, "I never learned to read, but it didn't matter because I was a great athlete." The man continues, "Then came the multi-million dollar contract, which I spent on drugs. Eventually I was banned from sports. I quit drugs because I couldn't afford it." The man says, "Now I'm a motivational speaker." Dogbert asks, "Have you motivated anybody to become illiterate yet?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #mannequin, #store, #retail, #clerk, #avoidance, #name tag

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Dilbert says to a salesclerk in a clothing store, "Some people might be fooled by your pretending to be a store mannequin." The man stares straight ahead and stands still. Dilbert continues, "But I saw you hide your name tag. I know you're a retail clerk who is trying to avoid helping me." Dilbert yells, "Hey! You're moving toward the 'employees only' door. Stop it! You won't get away with this!!" The clerk thinks, "Ten more feet."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #bungee jump, #avoidable, #danger, #weight, #bungee, #cord, #underestimate, #hill, #man

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Dilbert sees a sign that says "Bungee Jump 10 dollars." He thinks, "It's the manly thing to do." Dilbert enters the office and says, "I'd like to expose myself to avoidable danger." A man says, "Sit right down." The man says, "I need to know your weight so I can adjust the bungee cord." The man says, "Be sure you don't under-estimate your weight or else your head will hit the ground like an over-ripe cantaloupe." Dilbert answers, "Seven hundred pounds." The man wraps a bungee cord around Dilbert's body and head. He says, "Count to three and jump." Dilbert and the man stand on a hill. Dilbert says, "I didn't know you could do this on a hill." The man kicks Dilbert. Dilbert lies face-down on the hill. He says, "Today, I am a man." The man says, "For a hundred bucks I'll pull you back."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #news, #jobs, #billion, #owls, #asteroid, #coincidence, #researchers, #television, #device, #idiots

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The caption says, "Dogbert's good news show." Dogbert sits at a news desk and says, "Nine out of ten people have jobs . . . Three billion people had a nice day today . . . And the forest has plenty of owls." The caption says, "Regular news show." A news anchor says, "A huge asteroid could destroy earth! And by coincidence, that's the subject of tonight's miniseries." The other reporter yells, "We'll all die!!" The caption says, "Back to Dogbert . . ." Dogbert holds a remote control and says, "In science, researchers proved that this simple device can keep idiots off of your television screen."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #eliminated, #tedious, #consuming, #process, #computer

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Dilbert shows the Boss new computer hardware and tells him, "For only twenty-five thousand dollars I've eliminated many tedious and time-consuming processes." The Boss asks, "What would be an example of one of those tedious and time-consuming processes?" Dilbert replies, "Well, there was the process of sitting around and wishing I had more computer stuff . . ." The Boss thinks, "Next time don't ask."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ratbert, #Dogbert, #evolving, #flying, #rat, #arms, #flatter, #parents, #million, #years, #natural, #advantage, #wings, #happiest

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Ratbert says to Dogbert, "I think I'm evolving into a flying rat." Ratbert continues, "I noticed that my arms are flatter than my parents' arms. In a million years this natural advantage will become wings!" Dogbert says as Ratbert walks away, "There goes the happiest rat I know." Ratbert flaps his arms and thinks, "Too soon."