2020 Comic Strips - Page 37

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Common Sense

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Common Sense  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, common sense, request, specifications, assumption, sarcasm

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boss: this isn't what i wanted. dilbert: it is, unless you gave me the wrong specs. boss: i assume you would use your common sense to know what i wanted. dilbert: did you common sense help you make that assumption?

Clear Email From Boss

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Clear Email From Boss - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, servers, request, email, reply, project, update, fight, business

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boss: why didn't you upgrade the servers like i asked? dilbert: you never asked me to do that. boss: yes, i did. i told you in an email. dilbert: no, you did not. boss: i know i saw it because you replied. dilbert: i replied to a different email. boss: okay, let me find the email and show you how wrong you are. see. it clearly says, "give me a project update by thursday." dilbert: which is...an entirely different topic. boss: why are you fighting me on this?

Wally Stopped Trying

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Wally Stopped Trying - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, useless, trying, incompetence, co-workers, pay, work

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wally: this week i didn't do any work because there is no point in trying. in the unlikely event i did something useful, it would be ruined by the massive incompetence of my co-workers. boss: i pay you to act as if you are trying. wally: oh, in that case, i worked hard this week.

Incompetent Employees

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Incompetent Employees - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, sarcasm, business, bureaucratic, employees, incompetent, inefficiency, yin, yang

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catbert: it might my imagination, but it looks as if all of our employees are incompetent. boss: we need to create a tangle of bureaucratic rules that make it impossible for them to get anything done. catbert: you want to use inefficiency to protect us against incompetence? boss: yin and yang.

Inefficiency

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Inefficiency - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, inefficient, process, obsolete, market, technology, multidisciplinary, systems, fight, fire

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alice: our internal processes are so inefficient that we can't get products to market before they are obsolete. boss: i'll create a multidisciplinary task force to look into it. alice: you want to use an inefficient system to fix an inefficient system? boss: it's called fighting fire with fire.

Rfp Process

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Rfp Process - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, rfp, proceed, stupid, technology, obsolete

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dilbert: we finished the r.f.p. process and selected a vendor. but it tool so long that all of their technology is obsolete. should i proceed stupidly? boss: it got us this far.