Idea Rat Comic Strips - Page 37

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

436 Results for Idea Rat

View 361 - 370 results for Idea Rat comic strips. Discover the best "Idea Rat" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags deception, work ethic, growth hacker, web apps, perfect job, growth hackers, do nothing, work from home

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: We need a "growth hacker" for our web apps. I think I'd be perfect for that job. Boss: I've heard of growth hackers, but I have no idea what they do all day. You could do nothing and I wouldn't know the difference. Wally: And I could work from home.

View more books now

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags surveillance, outsourced micromanaging, amazons mechanical turk, other countries, computer cameras, criticize, resisting change

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I outsourced my micromanaging to Amazon's mechanical Turk. People in other countries will watch you on your computer cameras and criticize every move you make. Dilbert: That feels like a terrible idea. Turk: Stop resisting change.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags assumption, business ethics, buy prodcuts, corporate strategy, corporation, customer centric, etiquette & ethics, evil, executives, ideas, marketing campaign, monopoly, needs, needs of customers, psychological manipulation

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: I welcome any input on our corporate strategy. Dilbert: I think we need to be more customer-centric. CEO: You mean raise our prices? Dilbert: I mean focus on the needs of our customers. CEO: You mean we should be a monopoly so they need us? Dilbert: Um, no. We should find out what they need and then give it to them. CEO: They need to buy our products. Dilbert: They probably don't. CEO: So you're saying our marketing campaign should use psychological manipulation to make people think they need our products. You finally had a good idea. Dilbert: I'm going to stop talking now.

Send Ceo On Dangerous Stunts

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Send Ceo On Dangerous Stunts - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags ceos, death, deception, split duites, boring meetings, publicity stunts, business scheme, 3people, medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Co-CEOs. Dogbert: Let's split the duties this way... I will be the CEO who attends boring meetings, and you can be more of a Richard Branson type who does dangerous publicity stunts. Co-CEO: I love that idea. Dogbert: And then there was one.

Dilbert Invents Tube Clothes

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Invents Tube Clothes - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags clothing, decision, decision-making, inventions, success, thinking, tube clothes, eliminate decisions, mark zuckerberg, gray t-short, success secrets

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I call my invention "tube clothes." The idea is to eliminate as many daily decisions as possible, the way Mark Zuckerberg does with his gray t-shirt. I like to understand what makes people successful. Dogbert: And you narrowed it down to his shirt?

Fifty Tips For Success

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Fifty Tips For Success - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Advice, career advice, obliviousness, secret, success, tech millionaire

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: A 27-year-old tech millionaire published his list of fifty things you need to do to succeed. Dilbert: In other words, he has no idea why he succeeded. Asok: Sure he does. He even has a chart of his top thirty... priorities. Okay, I hear it now.

Ceo Mentors Wally To No Avail

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ceo Mentors Wally To No Avail - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Promotion, saving face, executives, bad advice, bad ideas, mentor, mentoring

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: I've been mentoring Wally for over a week and he's still useless. But we need to promote him to Vice President so it looks as if my mentoring works. Catbert: That might be a bad idea in the long run. CEO: What is this "long run" people keep harping about?

Brainstorming App Ideas

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Brainstorming App Ideas - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags ideas, brainstorm, idea, thinking, criticism, judge, judging, technology, invention, judgment, legal

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Today we will brainstorm app ideas for our smart watch. The only rule is "no judging." Wally: How about an app that makes you left-handed. Are you judging me now or were you being insincere before.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags executives, truth, honesty, protection, protected, shelter

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: May I speak frankly? Dilbert: Uh-oh. CEO: Of course! A good CEO listens to his underlings. [He soon realized this was a bad idea. Alice's honesty felt like fire ants on his skin. Bystanders scattered. The CEO had not heard the truth in years. It burned like a thousand suns.] Catbert: Whoa! Someone got truthed.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags public speaking, presentation, question, questions, stupid, idiot, idiots, criticism, critic

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I need you to critique my presentation for the board. And don't hold back to spare my feelings. Dilbert: That probably won't be an issue. Alice: We got this. Boss: My product idea has three components. Alice: How do you know another company isn't secretly preparing to launch the same product? Boss: What kind of stupid question is that? Alice: It's the same question you asked me yesterday about my product idea. Boss: The board won't ask that. Alice: Don't be so sure. I hear they're idiots.