Hate Earth Comic Strips - Page 37

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

366 Results for Hate Earth

View 361 - 366 results for hate earth comic strips. Discover the best "Hate Earth" comics from Dilbert.com.

Assigning Dilbert To Project

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Assigning Dilbert To Project - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #network, #redesign, #project, #phase, #positive, #optimistic, #assign, #sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: dilbert, i'm assigning you to the network redesign project. dilbert: what phase is that project in? is it in the initial stage, in which everyone is feeling positive and optimistic? or is it in the middle phase, in which everyone is finding away and hating the other team members? boss: it's in the death spiral phase. everyone is trying to assign blame to someone they already hate. they requested that i add you to the team. dilbert: to save the project? boss: um...okay, sure.

General Incompetence

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
General Incompetence - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #project, #success, #expectations, #destroy, #incompetent, #sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: in summary, my project was successful beyond all expectations. Colleague: my relative lack of success this year makes me hate you and want to destroy you. dilbert: what's stopping you? colleague: general incompetence. same thing that killed all of my projects.

Dogbert Is Selective

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dogbert Is Selective - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #consultant, #crisis, #selective, #client, #jail, #Advice, #folksy, #wisdom

View Transcript

Transcript

title: dogbert the crisis consultant. dilbert and dogbert on a walk. dogbert: i'm very selective about my clients. that's because clients who take my advice usually end up in jail. so i only take clients i hate. dilbert: i like your folksy wisdom.

Zoom Could Have Been Worse

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Zoom Could Have Been Worse - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #embarrassment, #technology, #video call, #zoom, #time, #waste, #meeting, #imbeciles, #mic

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert with dogbert on video call. dilbert: what a waste of time this zoom meeting is. i hate dealing with imbeciles. voice from laptop: your mic is on. dogbert: could have been worse.

Dilbert Doesn't See Hats

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Doesn't See Hats  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hat, #sarcasm, #business, #elbonia, #big, #working, #sight, #patronizing

View Transcript

Transcript

Elbonian man: i heard a rumor that you hate working with people who wear big hats. dilbert: i don't see hats. elbonian man: are you patronizing me right now? dilbert: i can't tell.

Universe Preparing Problems

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Universe Preparing Problems - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #universe, #preparing, #problems, #anger, #laptop, #hate

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert thinking in from of laptop: uh-oh. i don't seem to have any actual problems today. the universe hates it when i have no problems. it must be preparing a big one. dilbert yelling: what's it gonna be this time, universe?! carol: i'll come back.