Hear Your Idiots Comic Strips - Page 37
372 Results for Hear Your Idiots
View 361 - 370 results for hear your idiots comic strips. Discover the best "Hear Your Idiots" comics from Dilbert.com.
boss: our safety record is the best in the industry! dilbert: that is both untrue and easy to debunk. why would you even tell such a lie? do you think we're idiots? boss: moving along...
asok: alice, i want you to know that i hear you and i value you. alice: that's terrific maybe you could stop talking to me in that super creepy and condescending way. asok: yes, queen. alice: who broke you?
Dilbert on a video conference call and voices coming from laptop" We've been going for two hours, so let's wrap up... i have a new topic... dilbert: Gaaa!!! why is there always on time-wasting fool on every zoom call??? why? why? voice from laptop: dilbert, you're not on mute. dilbert: oh. did you hear my tv? i'll turn it down.
Dilbert: i upgraded our a.i. prototype to make management decisions. smart speaker: slay the weak dilbert: i think that's a bug. boss: hold on. let's hear it out.
in board room. boss: industry trends just turned our way by total luck. we have to act fast! i need to implement some kind of change so it looks as if i caused the increase in profits that will happen anyway. does anyone have any ideas? dilbert: no, because we're already perfectly situated to take advantage of the trend. boss upset: that doesn't help me! i can't take credit for our future profits unless i do something i can say made a difference. dilbert: maybe you could implement some sort of bogus company culture training program. one week later. dogbert presenting on a stage: it's important to realize you're all idiots.
tina: every time i hear you disagreeing with the experts, i lose a little respect for you. dilbert: are you saying you once had respect for me? tina crying and yelling: stop being happy about my criticisms! dilbert: why can't i enjoy the attention?
tina: it feels as if the days are going by faster lately. dilbert: that's because we're a computer simulation that just got a software upgrade. tina: there's really nothing you can't ruin with that nonsense, is there? dilbert: i hear that a lot.
dilbert: do you prefer that i focus on one of my projects at the expense of all the others... or should i spread my attention across all of my projects and do low-quality work on all of them? and your answer cannot involve magic. boss: can i hear the choices again.
dilbert in front of laptop on video conference: our audio is garbled. i can't hear what you are saying. dilbert yelling: no, i didn't say anything about a gerbil. i said our audio is garbled. dogbert and dilbert at home. dogbert: how'd your zoom call go? dilbert: i solved zero problems and may have endangered a gerbil.
boss and wally on video call. wally: did you know hackers can see you and hear you through the cameras on your digital devices? in fact, someone with my skills could do it in minutes and never be detected. boss: what are you trying to tell me? wally: it's just something to keep in mind when you do my performance review.