Help! Help! Comic Strips - Page 37
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424 Results for Help! Help!
View 361 - 370 results for help! help! comic strips. Discover the best "Help! Help!" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday March 03,
2016
Wally Is Unlikely To Do Favors
Tags #apathy, #assist, #favor, #guest artist, #help, #helpful, #laziness, #john glynn
Transcript
Carol: Wally, will you do me a favor? Wally: It feels unlikely. Carol: You haven't heard it yet. Wally: That matters less than you hope it does.
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Sunday April 10,
2016
Tags #communication, #managers, #training, #obstacle, #laziness
Transcript
Dilbert: Can I take a class to improve my communication skills? Boss: What are you talking about? Dilbert: I want to take a class that teaches me how to communicate better. Boss: I don't understand what you're asking me. Dilbert: I am asking permission to take a class to help me communicate better. Boss: I see your lips moving but I can't figure out what you're asking. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! There's no way to get there from here! Boss: I'm glad I took that management class on how to not listen. It already paid off.
Wednesday March 16,
2016
Dogbert's Negotiating Class
Tags #book, #deal, #negotiating, #negotiation, #self help, #guest artist, #josh shipley
Transcript
Dogbert: Welcome to Dogbert's one-week training class for negotiators. I believe in leading by example, so this entire course will involve me trying to persuade you to buy my book. If everyone in the class buys my book, you can all have the rest of the week off. Voice: Done.
Thursday May 19,
2016
Wally The Thought Leader
Tags #title, #leadership, #work ethic, #laziness, #strategy, #ruse
Transcript
Man: Wally, can you help me... Wally: Whoa! Stop right there. I'm a thought leader, not some wage slave. Man: What do thought leaders do? Wally: You're watching it.
Thursday August 04,
2016
Drone Defense System
Monday August 15,
2016
Asok Learns To Rank Priorities
Tags #priorities, #Advice, #hate, #misanthrope, #misanthropy, #organization
Transcript
Asok: I'm overworked because I don't know how to set priorities. Alice: Try ranking your tasks by how much you hate the people who asked for your help. Asok: What if I don't hate anyone? Alice: That problem solves itself over time.
Tuesday August 16,
2016
Boss Buys Software Without Help
Tags #bad advice, #Advice, #sales, #lying, #deception, #business
Transcript
Boss: I bought new software for our network. Dilbert: Who helped you on the technical side? Boss: The vendor. He said our current software uses the wrong kind of electricity.
Thursday September 29,
2016
Bribing Wally
Tags #bribe, #morals, #laziness, #work ethic
Transcript
Wally: I don't have time to help. Coworker: What if I bribe you to do your job? I am literally offering to give you my personal money to do the job your employer pays you to do. Wally: Are you willing to turn a blind eye to my total lack of effort, or should I find a better briber?
Saturday October 01,
2016
Trust Your First Instinct
Tags #bribe, #bribery, #laziness, #work ethic
Transcript
Boss: People are telling me you are accepting bribes to help co-workers on projects. Wally: You think I'm helping my co-workers? Boss: Good point. That part didn't sound right. Wally: Trust your first instinct.
Monday November 07,
2016
Dilbert Creates An Artificial Soul
Tags #conscience, #technology, #morals, #morality, #guidance, #Religion
Transcript
Dilbert: I invented an artificial soul to help non-believers act morally. It's a small drone that follows you around and reminds you not to be a jerk. Wally: Did it forget to remind you today? Dilbert: My drone says I shouldn't slap you.