Protect Money Comic Strips - Page 37

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View 361 - 370 results for protect money comic strips. Discover the best "Protect Money" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bonus is 5%, #don't feel bad, #salary, #salary differences, #the boss, #intern ages, #inequity, #allow to feel bad, #money

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The boss gives an envelope to Asok and says: "Asok, your bonus is only 5% this year.Don't feel bad; I only got 5% too." Asok says to the boss: "But 5% of your salary is four times more than 5% of my salary." Asok says to the boss: "May I feel bad about that?" The boss answers: "Sure. Go wild!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #stressed out, #work, #feel better, #verbally abused, #co worker, #money spit, #use that one

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Dilbert is sitting between Wally and Ted and thinks: "I'm stressed out about work. Maybe I'd feel better if I verbally abused a co-worker." Ted raises his hand and screams to Dilbert: "You worthless piece of monkey spit!" Dilbert turns to Ted and thinks: "Dang. I was going to use that one." Ted rests his feet on the table, puts his hands on the back of his head and says: "Aah..."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #20% more money, #hire someone, #loyal, #40% more, #science, #mime, #wall blocks

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Dilbert is in the boss's office and he says to the boss: "Another company offered me twenty percent more. Will you match it? The boss answers: "No, I prefer to hire someone who is loyal, even if I have to pay forty percent more." Dilbert shakes his hands looking angry and says: "Managing is supposed to be a science!" The boss holds up his hands in front of him and says: "My mime wall blocks your sound."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #face time, #software, #man makes face, #imitating worker, #discourage from raise, #costs money, #discouraging, #engineering

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The Boss: Come in to the VP's office with me. you need to get some face time. Dilbert: What is Face Time? The Boss: Its very important. man: and this is you asking for a raise.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dogbert consults, #consulting report, #exclusive rights, #microsoft, #dos, #good feeling, #behind the times

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The Boss says to his staff, "I saved the money by buying a used consulting report." The Boss continues, "We're going to give the exclusive rights for something called DOS to something called Microsoft." The Boss adds, "I have a good feeling about this."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #salary, #115%, #mid point, #supervisors package, #no peeking, #money

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The Boss says to Dilbert, "Your salary is 115% of the midpoint for your range. Isn't that exciting?" Dilbert replies, "Why don't you say it's 115% below the top of the range which can never be achieved under our system?" The Boss answers with both hands covering the paper on his desk, "No peeking at the supervisor's page."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sitting in a box, #checking stocks, #cucbicle, #job, #stock market, #this is life, #computer, #money, #survival, #business, #technology

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As Dilbert sits at his computer he thinks to himself, "I'm sittin' in a box and checkin' my stocks." Dilbert continues thinking, "I must use all my willpower to resist checking every ten seconds." Dilbert again thinks, "I'm sittin' in a box and checkin' my stocks."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #internet music, #free, #digital tops, #here with engineers, #ideas, #applied to others

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Wally says to Alice and Dilbert, "All music on the internet should be free. Artists could make money from digital tips." Catbert says to Wally, "Great idea. We'll do the same thing here with the engineers." Wally says to Dilbert, "Have you ever noticed that my ideas are only brilliant when applied to other people?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #tips today, #how much, #three breath mints, #death threat, #scrawled napkin, #napkin guy

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Dilbert and Wally are both wearing aprons. Dilbert, counting money, asks Wally, "How much did you make in tips today?" Wally says, "Three breath mints and one death threat scrawled on a napkin." Wally says to Dilbert, "I hope I don't forget which breath mint came from the napkin guy."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cross charge time, #attended meeting, #drunken moneky, #refund, #money back, #unfair preactices

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Dilbert says to a co-worker, "Why did you cross-charge your time to my budget?" The co-worker says, "I attended your meeting." Dilbert says to the co-worker, "All you did was sit there like a drunken monkey. I want a refund." The co-worker says, "Talk to my boss." Dilbert says to the woman who is his co-worker's boss, "... So it doesn't seem fair." The woman looks at her watch and says, "Ka-ching!"