Read Book Online Comic Strips - Page 37

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399 Results for Read Book Online

View 361 - 370 results for read book online comic strips. Discover the best "Read Book Online" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags flirting, romance, privacy, stalking, creepy, creeper, gestures, gifts, coworkers

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The New Employee. Dilbert: Hi, I'm Dilbert. I bought you a book. Woman: Okay, weird. Who buys gifts for new co-workers? And how did you know this is my favorite author? Dilbert: I asked one of the network guys to check your browser history. Catbert assured me that employees have no right to privacy. I heard that women like it when men put thought into a gift. I hope you appreciate my romantic gesture. Wally: Did she make a romantic gesture back? Dilbert: I choose to interpret it that way.

Boss Falls Off Bridge

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Boss Falls Off Bridge - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags walking, meeting, meetings, accident, difficult, gimmick, manager, idea, ideas, distraction, Sports, business

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Boss: My new thing is taking long walks instead of having meetings. Wow. It is hard to walk, read, think, talk, and drink coffee at the same time. Dilbert: He fell off a bridge. Carol: That's why I schedule walking meetings for him.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags computer, robot, replacement, doctor, medicine, obsolete, job, diagnose, necessity, technology, invention, business, medical

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Doctor: IBM's Watson supercomputer has diagnosed your symptoms. The computer just ordered the meds you need. They will be delivered in an hour by drone. Dilbert: Looks like your job as a doctor is becoming obsolete. Doctor: Ha ha! No. You still need a doctor and a nurse to make the system work. For example, the computer can't read its own screen and speak those words to patients. Dilbert: Actually, it can. Doctor: But the computer doesn't have a nurse. Dilbert: What does the nurse do? Nurse: I stab him if he tries to do more than read the screen.

Wally Sees Tina On Tinder

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Wally Sees Tina On Tinder - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags tinder, dating, online dating, attraction, awkward, relationships

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Wally: Hey, I saw you on Tinder. Tina: Please don't say anything else. Please don't say anything else. Wally: I swiped left. Tina: Gaaa!

Tell Me What Was In The Email

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Tell Me What Was In The Email - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags email, laziness, attention, detail, tldr

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Boss: I don't have time to read your long email. Tell me what it said. Dilbert: I wrote a long email because a summary would be dangerously misleading. Boss: I'll be the judge of that. Dilbert: How?!!!

Alice Gives Approval

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Alice Gives Approval - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags deal, support, negotiations

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Dilbert: Our pointy-haired boss asked me to get everyone's buy-in on this. Alice: I'll agree to your stupid idea if you support my great idea later. Dilbert: Deal. Alice: Should I read it? Dilbert: I don't see why.

Wally Gives Approval

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Wally Gives Approval - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags laziness, signature, ignorance, reading, fine print

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Dilbert: I need everyone's buy-in on this. Wally: Do I have to read it? Dilbert: No. Wally: That's the sort of idea I can get behind.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags bureaucracy, paperwork, form, request, convoluted

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Dilbert: I need a capital allocation form. Man: Do you have a form to request that form? Dilbert; I need a form to get a form? Man: That's how we keep track of the forms. Dilbert: Okay, give me a form to request a form. Man: Those are online. Dilbert: Where online? Man: I don't know. I only do paper forms. Dilbert: Who can I ask? Man: Don't drag me into this. Dilbert: I demand to talk to your boss. Man: I hope you brought a boss request form.

Strategy Document

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Strategy Document - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags strategy, obliviousness, insult

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Dilbert: I saw your email about destroying the company. Boss: Huh? The only email I sent you was my strategy for the coming year. Dilbert: Well, maybe I read it too fast.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags tldr, email, communication, patience, criticism

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Man: Did you read my email? Dilbert: No, it was too long. Man: Maybe you could read it when you have more time. Dilbert: I never have time to read email messages that are too long. Maybe you could rewrite it to be shorter. Man: I don't have time to rewrite it. Dilbert: And I don't have time to read it. Man: If no one reads that email, it will mean I wasted two hours writing it. Dilbert: Plus, you're wasting my time right now. Don't forget to include that in your failure assessment. Man: I had high hopes for that email. Dilbert: It's a sunk cost. Let it go.