Talk To Furniture Comic Strips - Page 37

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

400 Results for Talk To Furniture

View 361 - 370 results for talk to furniture comic strips. Discover the best "Talk To Furniture" comics from Dilbert.com.

Asking Successful People For Advice

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Asking Successful People For Advice - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #success, #Advice, #ambition

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: Every time I ask a successful person for career advice, I get a different answer. Carol: My plan for success is to lull my boss into a fatal accident and take over his identity. Asok: I'm not asking unsuccessful people for advice. Carol: Is that how you talk to your future boss?

Wife Starts A Business

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wife Starts A Business - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #entrepreneur, #business, #divorce, #marriage, #assumption, #small business, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: My wife is starting her own business. Carol: I'm sorry to hear that. How many years have you been married? Boss: She's not leaving me. She's starting a business. Carol: Right. Don't talk about Phase 2. Got it.

Wally Enjoys Listening To Himself

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Enjoys Listening To Himself - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Wally, #talking, #coffee, #boring, #moment

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I recently realized how much I enjoy listening to myself talk. The alternative involves listening to people who are boring and wrong about everything. Dilbert: That's not... Wally: Shhh! Don't ruin a perfect moment.

No Policy Against Lying

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
No Policy Against Lying - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Catbert, #ted, #evil, #director, #human, #resources, #lying, #policy, #checked

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Evil director of human resources. Ted: Alice called me a liar. Catbert: What were you doing when that happened? Ted: Lying. Catbert: Maybe we should talk about that. Ted: There's no company policy against lying I checked.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #man, #criticizing, #face, #head, #arrogance, #toxic, #personality, #garbage, #plague, #legs, #truth, #power, #behind, #back

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: I heard you were criticizing me behind my back. Try saying those things to my face! Dilbert: Okay. You're a hot-headed know-nothing who uses his arrogance to mask his total lack of talent. You ruin every meeting with your toxic personality. Every project you touch turns to garbage you're like a plague with legs. Man: Okay... That was harsh, but I respect you for speaking truth to power. Dilbert: You don't have any power. Man: Maybe it's better if you talk behind my back.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #communication, #frustrated, #office, #office workers, #talking

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Did Alice talk to you about the cost estimates? Ted: Mumble mumble. Dilbert: I can't hear you. Ted: Mumble mumble!!! Dilbert: Now you're just mumbling louder. Ted: Mumble mumble. Dilbert: Maybe you could turn toward me when you mumble and I can try to read your lips. Ted: Mumble mumble. Dilbert: I'm getting something about grapes, windshields, asthma, and blockchain. Ted: I didn't say any of those things. Dilbert: Okay. I understood that sentence. Now answer my question the same way. Ted: Mumble mumble.

Workplace Bully

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Workplace Bully - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #bully, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #threat, #work

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Cheryl, the other employees are complaining that you're a workplace bully. Cheryl: Hand over your wallet or else I'll tell your boss you tried to give me a shoulder rub. Carol: Did you talk to her? Boss: Don't ever ask me to do anything for your again.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #argument, #boss, #complaining, #eating, #managers & supervisors, #office, #office workers, #sounds

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I need to talk to you about your apple-eating. Dilbert: My what? Boss: Every afternoon you eat an apple at your desk. Your co-workers are complaining because it's loud. They can't work with all of your crispy chewing noise. Dilbert: In my defense, my co-workers are so incompetent that the less work they do, the better off the company is. Boss: That is a surprisingly robust defense. I'll come back if I can think of a counter-argument. Dilbert: Good luck. Crunch.

Ten Year Financial Projections

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ten Year Financial Projections - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #budget, #business, #finances, #guilt, #office, #office workers

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: How reliable are your ten-year financial projections? Dilbert: They are as reliable as all other ten-year financial predictions. Tina: Okay, good. Dilbert: Why do I feel guilty every time I talk at work?

Meeting Robot's Son

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Meeting Robot's Son - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #family & parenting, #hungry, #Kids, #robot, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Robot: I'd like you to meet my son. As you can see, he is half-human and half-machine. Dilbert: Does he talk? Robot: Only when he's hungry or he can't find his charger.