Ted Comic Strips - Page 37

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

448 Results for Ted

View 361 - 370 results for ted comic strips. Discover the best "Ted" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags five year plan, five minutes, office, room, conference room

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: My new five-year plan looks like this. Plan Dilbert: How can you have a five-year plan when you don't know what will happen in five minutes? Ted: We have this room now. The Boss: Bad timing, Shoo! Shoo!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags meeting, marketing, engineers, percentage increase, trivial base, stink eye, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Thanks to marketing. Sales have increased 100%! Dilbert: Question: are you asking a room full of engineers to be excited about a big percentage increase over a trivial base?" Ted You leave me no choice but to give you the stink eye. Dilbert: Ow! Ow! Make it stop!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags creature, employee, licks face, meeting, strategic alliance, tongue, business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "We could only find one company in the galaxy willing to form a strategic alliance with us." The Boss says, "Admiral B'Tang-B'tang is here to describe how we can help each other." foop! The Boss says, "Stop saying 'foop', Ted."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags rumor control, paid per rumor, terrorit training campo, exotic dancer, weekends

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says, "I'm from the Dogbert Rumor Control Service." Dogbert says, "People are saying Ted is an exotic male dancer on weekends. I know it isn't true because he spends all of his free time in a terrorist training camp." Alice says, "Isn't that worse?" Dogbert says, "I get paid per rumor. It's not a perfect system."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Promotion, money for cake, grossly overpais, exacerbate, unfairness, high cholestrol

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina says, "Ted got promoted, so I'm collecting money for a cake." Dilbert says, "He'll be grossly overpaid compared to us. Buying him cake will exacerbate the unfairness." Tina says, "He has high cholesterol." Dilbert says, "Here's a dollar."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags coldness of the grave, dress it up, high in demand, mad, time, time management, waiting

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted: Who are we waiting for? Dilbert: Alice. She has poor time management skills. But she's try to dress it up by saying she's in high demand. Why do I suddenly feel the coldness of the grave.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags blame, business failures/bankruptcies, scapegoat, troll to scapegoat, goat costume, take balme, another deadline, slapping goat

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss: I'm promoting you from legacy systems troll to scapegoat. Your job is to dress in a goat costume and take the blame for all of our projects failing. Ted: We milled another deadline. All in favor of slapping the goat...

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, dehumanizing, easier to downsize, employees, insulting nickname, meeting, osama, rudeness, enemy, business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, I have assigned a secret insulting nickname to each of you." The Boss says, "It's my way of dehumanizing the enemy so it will be easier to downsize you." Ted says, "The enemy?" The Boss says, "That's enough out of you, Osama."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags anger, firing, frustration, rudeness, profits falling, worthless sack of monkey spit, birds ate brain, regurgitate pellets

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Ted, profits are falling. I have to downsize you." Ted says, "You worthless sack of monkey spit! I hope the birds that ate your brain regurgitate pellets down your neck!" Ted says, "I have lots more, but I don't want to burn any bridges."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags ted, wrong, termination, fired, documents, security access, passwords, fix, fugitive, security, trick

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Carol, you filled out Ted's termination documents wrong. You put my name in the box as the fired employee." The Boss says, "My security access has been revoked. My phone is shut off, and my passwords are deactivated." The Boss says, "You need to fix this." Carol says, "Security, I found the fugitive."